My favorite Christmas movie,...

for those of you that don't know, is It's a Wonderful Life.

It's the story of George Bailey, his life and how one man can effect so many other lives. Whether he knows it or not.

The story begins in Bedford Falls. All through the town we can hear people praying for a George. The cop, the taxi driver, women, children; everybody who is somebody. The sound travels all the way to heaven where God and St Peter are discussing the influx of prayers. They realize it is Georges crucial night and they send for Clarence.

Clarence is an angel second class who hasn't got his wings and whose turn it is to help a human. George is that human and Peter is non too happy about it. God tolerates Peter's insubordination and Peter and Clarence begin studying Georges life. Clarence can't see the past so Peter has to help him. I must say Peter in this movie is much along the lines of Santa in Rudolph. He's kind of a jerk.

Clarence sees a boy riding down a snow covered hill on a shovel. It's George. He's there with his buddies, Sam, Marty and his little brother Harry. Who is not scared by the way. When Harry shovels down he goes too far on the ice and falls in. George jumps in and saves him but loses his hearing in his left ear because of an infection from the cold.

Next we meet Mr Potter. Mistaken by Clarence as a king, we are told by Peter Mr Potter is the richest, meanest man in Bedford Falls.

George is whistling while he enters Mr Gowers drug store where he works. Visibly disturbed, Mr Gower yells at George for being late and not being a canary. Here we meet the two ladies vying for Georges affection now and in the future, Violet, who likes all the boys, and Mary Hatch. (Sigh.)

George is sent on a home delivery by Gower. Knowing something is wrong, Gower's son has passed away of influenza, George goes and talks to his father after eyeing a Sweet Caporal add about asking father...he knows. Cigars? Is there anything they can't do?

We meet Uncle Billy and George's dad at the office. He is having a tussle with Potter, who is every bit as cantankerous as Peter said.

George goes back to the drug store without delivering the pills and Gower, visibly drunk, goes ballistic. He slaps George and makes his ear bleed and calls him a lazy loafer. George explains he knows Gower is unhappy because of the telegram about his son and he put poison in the pills. Gower tastes the pills, realizes what he has done and gives George a big hug and George says he won't tell anyone.

The next scene George is about 22 I'm guessing. Out of high school and waiting to go to college. He had to work at the Bailey Building & Loan to get enough money to go to school. He is buying a large suitcase so when he travels the world he has a place to put the stickers. He goes home via Ernie the taxi driver and Bert the Cop, yes the Sesame Street characters were named after these two characters, and we meet his mom, Harry his brother and Annie their maid. He tells his pop he is a great guy then goes off to Harry's graduation party where Harry looks like the BMOC because he gets to introduce the big Charleston contest.

Then it happens. We see Mary all grown up. Hubba. Hubba. George steals her form Othello, Alfalfa from the Lil Rascals, and proceeds to fall in the pool built under the floor which saved the school another building when Othello opened the floor because he was jealous.

We are introduced to grownup Sam and Marty as well. Side notes, Marty does a Hee Haw thing and Marty is Mary's brother.

George and Mary are walking home when George finds out his father had a stroke. He rushes home and you can see the genuine look of concern on Mary's face. She loves that boy. Which she told us back in Gowers drug store. She whispered it in his bad ear.

George ends up staying in Bedford Falls to run the Building and Loan and sends Harry to school on his dough. Four years pass and George is waiting for Harry as he comes home from school. When Harry gets back, George is ready to go exploring. It's what he has talked about since he was a boy. Well, Harry got married and George is stuck again. Who gets married and doesn't tell anyone?

That night George expresses his love for Mary and the two are wed. He saves the Building & Loan from the evil clutches of Mr Potter after the bank collapsed by using his own honeymoon money to appease his investors. He proceeds home to Sycamore Street where Mary has prepared their future home. The home is significant in that earlier after the graduation dance as George and Mary walked home, they threw rocks at the house and made wishes. George told his wish about exploring but Mary kept silent. Until now. She wished on that day years ago that she and George would be married and live in that house.

Sly old Mary. Makes us love her all the more.

They raise a family and absent minded Uncle Billy loses $8000. (And on the same day as Harrys homecoming parade. See, he won the Congressional Medal of Honor for saving the lives of every man on a transport in WWII.) George knows he'll be blamed. Potter calls the cops on George for malfeasance. George finds out he is worth more dead than alive. He gets punched in the mouth by an angry teachers husband. George balled out the teacher for sending Zuzu his daughter home with an open coat which caused her to get a cold.

George crashes his car into a tree and wanders over to the bridge. You can see in his eyes he ain't right and he is about to jump. He goes to climb up the railing when Clarence out of nowhere jumps in first. George dives in and saves him. Woohoo!

Clarence gives George a great gift. A chance to see what the world would be like without him. He goes to Martinis. The bar his friend owns but now it is Nicks and he is not so nice. Gower comes in and looks like a bum. He spent 30 years n jail for poisoning a kid. (Remember)

His car is gone, Ernie doesn't know him, his house is old again and Bert doesn't know him. Worse yet, his mother doesn't know him. He goes to the cemetery where...Harry is buried. Died in the ice. (Remember) All the troops died on the transport because George didn't save Harry.

The deepest cut of all is that Mary is an old maid and doesn't recognize George.

At his wits end, he heads back to the bridge after running from Bert the cop. While saying he wants to live again, it begins to snow. Which it was doing the last time he was on the bridge but never did during his "dead time". Bert calls him George, his lip starts bleeding again and...Zuzus petals, Zuzus petals, There they are!

He rushes home to find his children, reporters and cops. He doesn't care. He's alive.

One by one the townspeople come to bail George out. They give without question straight from the heart. Exactly as George did. All because of Mary spreading the word.

The movie ends with Clarence getting his wings and George saying, "Atta boy Clarence!"

If you haven't seen this movie; first, shame on you and second, see it. I left out a bunch of stuff and you probably even have a question or two. All will be answered on your journey through Bedford Falls.

Two days til the big guy gets here...

This season has been filled with singing and shopping and watching movies and specials and baking.

What fun!

Ian had his first Christmas program. He sang with the rest of the kids his age, all 3 of them. Regardless, it was neat to see him up there singing for the first time. Does a Daddy proud.

Madison is an old pro. This is like her third or fourth. She did a great job reading and singing. Reagan is not quite old enough yet but that didn't stop her from going up on the stage when all the other kids did at the end to take a bow.

I heard Mel Torme last night for the first time this Christmas. He will put you in the mood. As I've said before, his rendition of The Christmas Song is my favorite. Even more so than Nat King Cole's. Both are excellent but I give the nod to Mel because after all he wrote the song.

I have Charlie Brown Christmas playing in my truck exclusively. I am watching nothing but Christmas themed shows. I wear nothing but red and green and a Santa hat. It's getting close to zero hour. No holding back now.

This is truly the greatest time of the year. I need to remember that as the festivities continue but especially as they wind down.

Pray that I keep my big yap shut, please.

Tradition...

no big deal, right?

What's one tradition by the wayside? We don't want to offend anyone.

All is right with the world.

Tradition!...

Tradition!

So says Tevia.

I come from a background of tradition. For starters, I am Catholic. I defy you to show me a more traditionalistic Christian sect. Baptism, the Eucharist, confession, holy matrimony, last rites; all traditions or in this case sacraments handed down from generation to generation.

Perhaps the greatest time of the year for tradition is Christmas. Whether it be how you decorate the house and tree or how you open the presents on Christmas morning or what you eat traditionally for Christmas, traditions abound.

Tradition!...Tradition!

What makes a tradition? What is it that defines a tradition? Is it the act of buying a baptism outfit? Is it planning a big extravagant wedding? Is it buying the first suit? Of course not. Whether that baby is donned in gold cloth or naked as the day they were born the act of pouring the water over his or her precious little head is what marks the tradition. Would Kelly and I still be as married if we showed up at the church in shorts and t-shirts and before God vowed to love one another until death do us part? We would.

It's not the amounts spent leading up to the event. It's the event.

One of my favorite traditions in our family is Kris Kringle. Because our family is so big, the adults draw names so we just have one adult to buy for. The kids still get their allotted presents as it should be. Again, because our family is so big we don't buy presents for one another on birthdays, except children, so this is the one time of the year we actually exchange gifts.

I am only human so I love to receive presents but it is also fun to give them too. I seemed to get my dad about 10 years in a row. I have given him a wall hanging of UCLA buildings, it looks cooler than it sounds. I gave my brother a cigar lighter. I gave my sister in law a Mickey Mouse sweatshirt. All in separate years of course.

Tradition is the tie that binds. Whether it be a church a civilization or a family.

Tradition! Tradition!

We must strive to keep our balance.

Tradition! Tradition!

We are all Fiddlers on the Roof!

A repost but I like this one...Top 10 minor characters in Christmas Movies...

10. Santa Claus - Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

I hesitated to put him on this list. But I kept coming back to him. Why? He had to be the biggest jerk in any of the Christmas movies sans Mr. Potter. Telling a father he should be ashamed of himself because his son has a glowing red nose? Dissing the elves song. I mean, what's up with that? He is skinny and grumpy. Everything we came not to expect form Santa. I got to hand it to Rudolph's writers, they knew how to throw a wrinkle into a claymation show. By the way, I found this clip after I wrote this description. Classic.

9./8. Heat and Snow Meiser - The Year Without a Santa Claus

The Year Without a Santa Claus was not that great of a special but these tow guys stole the show. I sing these songs to this day. (along with the rest of my siblings)

7. BurgerMeister MeisterBurger - Santa Claus is Coming to Town

How many of you can recite the exact inflection in the Burgermeisters voice when you see the line, "A yoyo?". That's why he is on this list. A classic villain. He doesn't turn good in the end. He remains true to his nasty ways to the end. One of my favorite lines of his is "...and I am certainly not going." Great comedic timing by a claymation figure.

6. Randy - The Christmas Story

Randy played the full emotional gammet. Disgust: "Meatloaf, beatloaf, double meatloaf. I hate meatloaf." Despair: "I can't put my arms down!" Empathy: "Daddy's gonna kill Ralphie!" He had it all. Randy and Ralphie had the textbook brother relationship. They fought, like when Randy tried to sneak in front of Ralph when they were getting dressed and all Randy got for his troubles was a swift kick in the tukus. But Randy was there for Ralph when he needed him. He was the one who picked up Ralphs glasses after the Scott Farkus affair. In this original movie trailer, check out Randy's face when he throws the socks. That innate comedic timing cannot be taught, my friends.

5. Winter Warlock - Santa Claus is Coming to Town.

Here is one villain who changed his stripes. "I am not such a loser after all!" This guy was a big blowhard meanie on the surface, but underneath he was an insecure little child just wanting to be accepted. Besides when he says,"...a chance to be reborn" it still cracks me up.

4. Snoopy - A Charlie Brown Christmas

He can play all the barnyard animals. Even a penguin. What more do you want? When he kisses Lucy and she says she needs some disifectant and iodine and he goes, "Bleah"; Katy and I love that. Madison does now too. I love how he laughs at Charlie Brown or when he boos him when he is announced as the director, "Man's best friend!". Or when he's embarrased after dancing on Schroeders piano and he stops playing. He's got it all.

3. Yukon Cornelius - Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

"Nothin'." Need I say more. He was the ultimate friend and protector, "...douse your nose and run like crazy." He was wise in the ways of the wild and it served Hermie and Rudolph well. If they had not run into him, well let's just say the special would have been about 20 minutes long and the Abominable Snowman would have had one good meal. We know he liked Peanut Butter hamhocks and played the guitar. He knew the bumbles weaknesses. And his ultimate quest was for gold...then silver.

2. Clarence - It's a Wonderful Life.

I admit I have a special place in my heart for Clarence. He elped the greatest character in Christmas movie history realize what he had. He did it with class, grace and comedy. Clarence was a man among angels. He has the IQ of a rabbit but the faith of a child. Clarence did God's work right here on earth. Clarence even earned his wings.

1. Linus - A Charlie Brown Christmas.

A Christmas Story...

One of the funnist movies ever produced. It is in my top 2 at least. The quotes from this movie are endless. Proof below.

The story is about Ralphie who wants a BB gun for Christmas and his trials and tribulations in going about getting one. Hilarity ensues.

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Old Man: They go all over.

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Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] My little brother had not eaten voluntarily in over three years.

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Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.

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[Ralphie is visiting Santa at the department store, only he can't remember what he wanted]
Santa Claus: How about a nice football?
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Football? Football? What's a football? With unconscious will my voice squeaked out 'football'.
Santa Claus: Okay, get him out of here.
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] A football? Oh no, what was I doing? Wake up, Stupid! Wake up!
Ralphie: [Ralphie is shoved down the slide, but he stops himself and climbs back up] No! No! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!
Santa Claus: You'll shoot your eye out, kid.

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Ralphie as Adult: [narrating, after BB gun shot bounces off target and hits his face] Oh my god, I shot my eye out!

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Ralphie: [narrating, after stepping on his glasses] Pulverized!

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Ralphie: I don't think a football is a very good Christmas present. Man that's great.

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Randy: Hey a zeppelin. Hey that's mine.

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Boy in School: [Firemen come to pull Flick off pole] Holy cow, it's the fire department!
Ralphie: Oh no...
Boy in School: [policemen come] Wow, it's the cops!

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Ralphie: I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!
Mrs. Parker: No, you'll shoot your eye out.

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Mr. Parker: Get the glue.
Mother: We're out of glue.
Mr. Parker: You used up all the glue on purpose!

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Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] I have since heard of people under extreme duress speaking in strange tongues. I became conscious that a steady torrent of obscenities and swearing of all kinds was pouring out of me as I screamed.

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Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] They looked at me as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears.

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Ralphie: Oooh fuuudge!
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word!
Mr. Parker: [stunned] *What* did you say?
Ralphie: Uh, um...
Mr. Parker: That's... what I thought you said. Get in the car. Go on!
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] It was all over - I was dead. What would it be? The guillotine? Hanging? The chair? The rack? The Chinese water torture? Hmmph. Mere child's play compared to what surely awaited me.

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Ralphie as Adult: [narrating about diving with his brother into the gifts under the Christmas tree] We plunged into the cornucopia quivering with desire and the ecstasy of unbridled avarice.

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Ralphie: [While scratching his eye under his glasses] Whoooo should I start with?

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Mr. Parker: It's a Major Award!
Swede: Shucks, I wouldn't know that. It looks like a lamp.
Mr. Parker: What is a lamp, you nincompoop? It's a Major Award. I won it!
Swede: Damn, hell, you say won it?
Mr. Parker: Yeah, mind power, Swede; mind power.

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[after cracking a secret code]
Ralphie: [Reading it] Be sure to drink your Ovaltine. Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch!

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Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Some men are Baptists, others Catholics; my father was an Oldsmobile man.
Mr. Parker: That son of a bitch would freeze up in the middle of summer on the equator!
Mother: Little pitchers!
Mr. Parker: Thanks... hold it!
[the furnace conks out]
Mr. Parker: It's a clinker! That blasted stupid furnace dadgummit!
[he walks down a few stairs and falls the rest of the way down]
Mr. Parker: Damn skates!
[coughing]
Mr. Parker: Oh, for cripes sake, open up the damper will ya? Who the hell turned it all the way down? AGAIN! Oh, blast it!
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] In the heat of battle my father wove a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.

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Ralphie: Heh, I was just kidding, even though Schwartz is getting one. I guess I'd just like some Tinker Toys.
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] I couldn't believe my own ears. Tinker Toys? She'd never buy it.

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Mother: All right. Now, are you ready to tell me where you heard that word?
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Now, I had heard that word at least ten times a day from my old man. He worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium; a master. But, I chickened out and said the first name that came to mind.
Ralphie: Schwartz!

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Head Elf: COME ON, KID!
[pulls Ralphie]
Head Elf: COME ON!
Santa Claus: HO! HO HO!
[spins Ralphie around]
Santa Claus: HOOOO... HOOO... HOO... And what's your name little boy?
Male Elf: Hey, kid! HURRY UP! THE STORE'S CLOSING!
Head Elf: Listen little boy, we have A LOT of people waiting here, so GET GOING!

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[Mr. Parker reads a side of the box with the prize that he won]
Mr. Parker: Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian.
Mrs. Parker: Uh, I think that says FRAGILE, dear.
Mr. Parker: Oh, yeah.

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The Old Man: Sons of bitches! Bumpuses!

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Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap. My personal preference was for Lux, but I found Palmolive had a nice, piquant after-dinner flavor - heady, but with just a touch of mellow smoothness. Life Buoy, on the other hand...
Ralphie: YECCHH!

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Miss Shields: Now I know that some of you put Flick up to this, but he has refused to say who. But those who did it know their blame, and I'm sure that the guilt you feel is far worse than any punishment you might receive. Now, don't you feel terrible? Don't you feel remorse for what you have done? Well, that's all I'm going to say about poor Flick.
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Adults loved to say things like that but kids knew better. We knew darn well it was always better not to get caught.

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[overdressed for winter]
Randy: I can't put my arms down!
Mother: Well... put your arms down when you get to school.

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Goggles: I like The Wizard of Oz. I like the Tin Man.

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Ralph: Don't bother me I'm...thinking.

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[Describing a "reaction" to an encounter with the bullies]
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Randy lay there like a slug! It was his only defense!

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Ralphie: Scut Farkus!
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Scut Farkus! What a rotten name! We were trapped. There he stood, between us and the alley. Scut Farkus staring out at us with his yellow eyes. He had yellow eyes! So, help me, God! Yellow eyes!

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[in a Chinese restaurant]
Waiter #1, Waiter #2, Waiter #3: [singing] Deck the harrs with boughs of horry, fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra.
Chop Suey Palace Owner: No, no, not 'ra ra ra ra', 'la la la la'! Try again.
Waiter #1, Waiter #2, Waiter #3: Deck the harrs with boughs of horry, fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra.
Chop Suey Palace Owner: No, no! Sing something else.
Waiter #1, Waiter #2, Waiter #3: Jingre bers, jingre bers, jingre arr the way. Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sreigh!

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Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat!

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Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] My father could replace fuses faster than a jack rabbit on a date.

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[marveling at a Christmas gift he just opened]
Mr. Parker: A can of Simonize!

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Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] My kid brother looked like a tick about to pop!

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Randy: Daddy's gonna kill Ralphie!

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Randy: Meatloaf, smeatloaf, double-beatloaf. I hate meatloaf.

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Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] The old man stood there, quivering with fury, stammering as he tried to come up with a real crusher. All he got out was...
The Old Man: Naddafinga!

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Goggles: I like Santa.
Ralphie: Yeah.
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Let's face it, most of us are scoffers. But moments before zero hour, it did not pay to take chances.

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Ralphie: Mom, this is just the same dumb old parade as last year.
Mother: Ralphie, will you please calm down?
Ralphie: Mom!
Mother: Hush!
Mr. Parker: SHUT UP, Ralphie!

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Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Never had the words flowed from my penny pencil with such feverish fluidity.

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Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Strange. Even something as momentous as the Scut Farkus affair, which it came to be known, was pushed out of my mind as I struggled to come up with a way out of the impenetrable BB gun web, in which my mother had me trapped.

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Santa Claus: Oh, I hate the smell of tapioca.

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Mom: [Playing Santa] And this is for daddy...
[Picks up a gift-wrapped bowling ball and drops it in The Old Man's Lap]
Mom: Here, from me to you.
The Old Man: [high-pitched] Thanks a lot!

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Miss Shields: Where's Flick? Has anyone seen Flick?
Ralphie as an Adult: [narrating as Ralphie feigns ignorance] Flick? Flick who?

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Mr. Parker: [Reading Telegram and doing a little jig] Tonight! Tonight! It's coming Tonight! Tonight! Tonight! Tonight! Hot Damn, Tonight!

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Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] My father worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium, a master.

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Randy: Aw, gee.

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Mr. Parker: Dadgummit! Blow out!
[on the highway, the car has gotten a flat tire]
Mr. Parker: Ah ha!
[excitedly gets out of the car]
Mother: Not again.
Mr. Parker: Four minutes. Time me.
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Actually the Old Man loved it. He had always pictured himself in the pits of the Indianapolis Speedway in the 500. My old man's spare tires were actually only tires in the academic sense. They were round, they had once been made of rubber.

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Ralphie as Adult: [narrating, after Mother breaks the Old Man's Major Award, and he is unsuccessful at repairing it] With as much dignity as he could muster, the Old Man gathered up the sad remains of his shattered major award. Later that night, alone in the backyard, he buried it next to the garage. Now I could never be sure, but I thought that I heard the sound of "Taps" being played, gently.

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Mr. Parker: [after Mother "accidentally" breaks the Old Man's leg lamp] Don't you touch that! You were always jealous of this lamp.
Mother: Jealous of a plastic...
Mr. Parker: Jealous! Jealous because I WON.
Mother: That's ridiculous. Jealous. Jealous of WHAT? That is... the ugliest lamp I have ever seen in my entire LIFE!
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Now it was out.

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Mother: This isn't one of those trees where all the needles falls off, is it?
Tree Man: No, that's them balsams.

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Mr. Parker: [to Mother] You know, Zudock just bought one of those brand new green, plastic trees.
Tree Man: Oh no!
Mr. Parker: Darn thing looked like it was made of green pipe cleaners. Hee hee hee hee.
Mother: It's a very nice tree.
Tree Man: [quickly] I'll thrown in some rope and tie it to your car for you.
Mr. Parker: You got a deal.
Tree Man: Deal.

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Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] The heavenly aroma still hung in the house. But it was gone, all gone! No turkey! No turkey sandwiches! No turkey salad! No turkey gravy! Turkey Hash! Turkey a la King! Or gallons of turkey soup! Gone, ALL GONE!

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Ralphie: Hey Dad! I'll bet you'll never guess what I got you for Christmas.
The Old Man: A new furnace.
Ralphie: Ha ha! That's a good one, Dad!
[Randy laughs]

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Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Oh, life is like that. Sometimes, at the height of our revelries, when our joy is at it's zenith, when all is most right with the world, the most unthinkable disasters decend upon us.

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Mr. Parker: Holy smokes. Do... Do you know what this is? This is... A lamp!
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] It was indeed a lamp.
Mr. Parker: Isn't that great? What a great lamp.
Mother: I don't know...
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] The old man's eyes boggled...
Mr. Parker: Oh WOW!
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] ... Overcome by art.

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Mr. Parker: Get in the car. Get in the car.
[Mother runs back inside]
Mr. Parker: If we don't hurry, we're gonna miss all the good trees!
Mr. Parker: [to the kids] Go on, go on.
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating, as Mother switches off the leg lamp] My mother was about to make another brilliant maneuver in the legendary battle of the lamp. The epic struggle which follows lives in the folklore of Cleveland Street to this very day.
Mother: Don't want to waste electricity.
Mr. Parker: [mockingly] "Don't want to waste electricity."

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[last lines]
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Next to me in the blackness lay my oiled blue steel beauty. The greatest Christmas gift I had ever received, or would ever receive. Gradually, I drifted off to sleep, pringing ducks on the wing and getting off spectacular hip shots.

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Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] There has never been a kid who didn't believe vaguely but insistently that he would be stricken blind before he reached 21, and then they'd be sorry.

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Ralphie: [in his fantasy, Ralphie explains the cause of his blindness] It... It 'twas... soap poisoning!

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Narrator: Was there no end to the conspiracy of irrational prejudice against Red Ryder and his peacemaker?

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Ralphie: [Giving his teacher a fruit basket instead of just an apple] I thought you might like something different.
Ralphie as Adult: Yes, clearly, a little bribe never hurts.

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Ralphie as Adult: I slowly began to realize that i was not going to be destroyed.

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Ralphie: Well, what have we got here, folks?
Mr. Parker: Well, we figure it's Black Bart, uh, Ralph.
Ralphie: Well, it's just me and my trusty old Red Ryder carbine-action, 200-shot, range model air rifle. Lucky I got a compass in the stock.

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Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Honors and benefits already at the age of nine!

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Ralphie: Hey Dad! I bet you never guess what I got you for Christmas!
The Old Man: [staring blissfully into space] A new furnace?
Ralphie: [chuckling] He he, that's a good one Dad!
Randy: [lauging] He he he!
Ralphie as Adult: My old man was one of the most feared furnace fighters in Northern Indiana.

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Ralphie as Adult: My father's spare tires were only tires on the academic sense. They were round,and had once been made of rubber.

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Ralphie as Adult: Immediately, my feet began to sweat as those two fluffy little bunnies with a blue button eye stared supply up at me.
Mother: Come down so I can see you better.
Ralphie as Adult: I just hope Flick would never spot them as a word of this humiliation could make life at Warren G. Harding Elementary School a variatable Hell.

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And possibly the greatest moment in this movie was not a line at all but a gesture: