UPDATE: This one was a little tougher huh? The solution is below
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Lance is a crime fighting machine...UPDATED...
What I love about the Lance is the curly-cue on his forehead. You can always see it no matter where his head is. Classic.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Welcome to Bizarro World...
As with any good cult, there’s not a whiff of rational appeal to be found; the “argument” for joining, such as it is, is the feeling of warm fuzzies you’ll derive, appropriately symbolized by a harmless yet adorable baby chick whom we’ll call “Barry.” This one’s destined for MTV and Comedy Central, partly because of the C-list celebrity spokesmen at the end but mostly because the jokey herpes analogy communicates just enough sexual sophistication to impress the average 18-year-old as “hip.” The punchline? Strip away the MoveOn graphics and you could insert this as is into any episode of “Mad TV,” where it would be received without a second thought as a heavy-handed parody of the vacuity of Obamamania.
I’m tellin’ ya, they’re gonna change the electronic voting screens to say, “Click here to accept Barack Obama’s Friend Request” so that these dim-witted youth voters can figure out how to cast their ballots for Obama. It’ll be like ballots in Spanish. You will soon be able to request your ballot in electronic youth-speak.
This next ad is an actual ad decrying the media for being in the tank for McCain. Yes you read that correctly.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Today is the 80th anniversary of...
"Steamboat Willie". The first talkie Mickey cartoon. In honor of that, I will show you some cartoon theme songs that shaped my childhood.
This last one is not a cartoon but it is probably my favorite theme song of all time. I wanted to be Mary's husband so badly I could taste it. Hanging with her in the snow. Cooking in the little kitchen. What a great apartment she had. And a special treat for you it's the first year theme song. It is a little different than the one from years 2-7. I have won a few bar bets with this one.
So, what did I miss?
Monday, July 28, 2008
I'm nation wide...
with regards to ZZ Top.
Flew to Phoenix this weekend. It is freaking hot there. 5 am - 93 degrees. I'm talking hot.
The temp wasn't the only thing that was hot. I went out there to sing with my brothers band. They had a gig lined up and had no singer. Well, no tenor anyway. Paul can sing just not as high as I can. And as we all know, there aren't too many baritone songs around. Crash Test Dummies; that's about it. He asked if I would come out. Kelly was happy to get rid of me, so off I went.
Had a blast. It was the 60th birthday party for the brother of a friend. About 100 people. Open bar. Good times. We did The Beatles, Simon and Garfunkle, James Taylor, BTO, Eric Clapton, CCR, The Eagles and the like. The guys in the band were excellent musicians and everything came together nicely. I like to think what we would have sounded like if we had actually practiced. Three of the guys I met at 6:00 on Saturday night. We played at 7:00 on Saturday night. We played about 3 hours all together. There were some hitches but all in all a very good performance. So good in fact the band got a few more gigs out of the deal. Hey Paul, if you start charging what you should be charging, I'll come out again and actually make some money this time. The trip cost me about $20 bucks. That includes flying out there. Not bad at all.
I will do it again in a heartbeat if asked. Next time though I bring my wife. I would love to bring the kids too but after watching the parents in the airport trying to corale their rug rats...no thanks. They can stay at Grandmas house over night.
I sure missed my crew Saturday morning. The kind of miss that makes you ache inside. I wanted to be home swimming and playing. I wanted just to be there. Paul and his family made it much easier to bear and eventually I did make it home. As I said before, I would do it again in a heartbeat.
I would like to thank Paul, Maggie, Eric and Miranda for having me and showing me a great time. Swimming, cigar smolking, video game playing, and just talking are a nice way to spend the weekend.
Oh yea, the singing thing was nice too.
Flew to Phoenix this weekend. It is freaking hot there. 5 am - 93 degrees. I'm talking hot.
The temp wasn't the only thing that was hot. I went out there to sing with my brothers band. They had a gig lined up and had no singer. Well, no tenor anyway. Paul can sing just not as high as I can. And as we all know, there aren't too many baritone songs around. Crash Test Dummies; that's about it. He asked if I would come out. Kelly was happy to get rid of me, so off I went.
Had a blast. It was the 60th birthday party for the brother of a friend. About 100 people. Open bar. Good times. We did The Beatles, Simon and Garfunkle, James Taylor, BTO, Eric Clapton, CCR, The Eagles and the like. The guys in the band were excellent musicians and everything came together nicely. I like to think what we would have sounded like if we had actually practiced. Three of the guys I met at 6:00 on Saturday night. We played at 7:00 on Saturday night. We played about 3 hours all together. There were some hitches but all in all a very good performance. So good in fact the band got a few more gigs out of the deal. Hey Paul, if you start charging what you should be charging, I'll come out again and actually make some money this time. The trip cost me about $20 bucks. That includes flying out there. Not bad at all.
I will do it again in a heartbeat if asked. Next time though I bring my wife. I would love to bring the kids too but after watching the parents in the airport trying to corale their rug rats...no thanks. They can stay at Grandmas house over night.
I sure missed my crew Saturday morning. The kind of miss that makes you ache inside. I wanted to be home swimming and playing. I wanted just to be there. Paul and his family made it much easier to bear and eventually I did make it home. As I said before, I would do it again in a heartbeat.
I would like to thank Paul, Maggie, Eric and Miranda for having me and showing me a great time. Swimming, cigar smolking, video game playing, and just talking are a nice way to spend the weekend.
Oh yea, the singing thing was nice too.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Just got back from the gig in Arizona...
That title should be said in your best Barney Fife with the nose sniff and the mouth contortion at the end.
Spent the weekend with my brother Paul, his wife Maggie and their two kids Eric and Miranda. Had a blast. I will have a much more detailed post tomorrow. Right now I'm beat. Just wanted to get something down. It's been a while.
Spent the weekend with my brother Paul, his wife Maggie and their two kids Eric and Miranda. Had a blast. I will have a much more detailed post tomorrow. Right now I'm beat. Just wanted to get something down. It's been a while.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
A little snippet...
The other day I was out mowing the lawn. As I was getting the hose ready to water I heard something rustling in the jasmine. It was a little turtle. Never missing an opportunity to show the kids some wild life, I picked it up and brought it into the house. Ian went right for it. He was going to touch it. I said, "No. No. No. Ian. We have to be careful." He slunked back and went and sat next to Kelly.
He wouldn't pet the turtle. Only after I brought it back outside did he get the courage to touch it.
I kick myself for stopping him. He was going to touch the turtle with no inhibitions. He wouldn't have hurt the turtle because I was holding it and they have a very hard shell if you didn't know. I feel like I stifled his inquisitiveness, his need to explore, his sense of wonder, his yearning to learn. There is a fine line between being a watchful parent and being a mother hen and I jumped right over it.
I hope I remember this little incident when he wants to explore something else. Keep an eye on him but let him go, dufus.
He wouldn't pet the turtle. Only after I brought it back outside did he get the courage to touch it.
I kick myself for stopping him. He was going to touch the turtle with no inhibitions. He wouldn't have hurt the turtle because I was holding it and they have a very hard shell if you didn't know. I feel like I stifled his inquisitiveness, his need to explore, his sense of wonder, his yearning to learn. There is a fine line between being a watchful parent and being a mother hen and I jumped right over it.
I hope I remember this little incident when he wants to explore something else. Keep an eye on him but let him go, dufus.
Why Am I Soft in the Middle...
when the rest of my life is so hard?
My life is not hard I was just quoting a song. I actually woke up with that song in my head this morning hence that song. How is it I get songs stuck in my head after sleep? They usually present themselves during...mmm...my morning constitutional. I'll just start humming or da-daing or do-doing, well you get the picture. "She's got Betty Davis Eyes" Huh? How'd that get there?
Madison is at dance camp this week. She is learning tap, ballet. All the biggies. She said they even learned how to use the ballet bar thingy. The long bar that runs across the length of the room where the ballerinas stretch. She was very excited. Monday I came home and asked her what she did at dance camp that day. She said "We are having pizza on Friday." Priorities.
Ian is doing something very cute. Of course, I am the father so I could be a little biased but I'll let you decide. Over the couch in our family room we have large black and white pictures of the kids. They were taken when they were anywhere from 3 to 6 months old. Ian was standing there looking at them. He pointed to Reagan's picture and said "Reagan!". He then pointed to Madison's picture and said "Ma-sson!". He then pointed to his picture and said "You!".
It took us just a second to figure that one out. Since he could walk we've been showing him pictures of everybody and every time we show him one of himself we say "Who's that, Ian?", "That's you." So now when he sees a picture of himself he says "You." Very clever boy.
Did I mention Reagan is jovial and rolls everywhere? I don't want to make it seem like I am forgetting about her it's just that right now there is not much new going on with here. She is sitting up in her high chair when she eats now. She is a very fast roller on the carpet. She is very strong. She had one of Ian's shoes and he wanted it so he went to grab it from her. The look on his face made it clear this was not going to be as easy as talking candy from a baby, or a shoe as it were. He tugged a few times and she did not let go. Finally, he gave one last hard pull and just before he heaved...she let go. He went flying backwards across the room and landed on his big Mac Lego truck and smashed it into all its Lego pieces. I could have sworn Reagan turned to me and winked. She gets that from her mother. Maybe Ian's not as clever as we think.
Don't worry the Lego truck was easily re-assembled. Ian's bottom was another story.
My life is not hard I was just quoting a song. I actually woke up with that song in my head this morning hence that song. How is it I get songs stuck in my head after sleep? They usually present themselves during...mmm...my morning constitutional. I'll just start humming or da-daing or do-doing, well you get the picture. "She's got Betty Davis Eyes" Huh? How'd that get there?
Madison is at dance camp this week. She is learning tap, ballet. All the biggies. She said they even learned how to use the ballet bar thingy. The long bar that runs across the length of the room where the ballerinas stretch. She was very excited. Monday I came home and asked her what she did at dance camp that day. She said "We are having pizza on Friday." Priorities.
Ian is doing something very cute. Of course, I am the father so I could be a little biased but I'll let you decide. Over the couch in our family room we have large black and white pictures of the kids. They were taken when they were anywhere from 3 to 6 months old. Ian was standing there looking at them. He pointed to Reagan's picture and said "Reagan!". He then pointed to Madison's picture and said "Ma-sson!". He then pointed to his picture and said "You!".
It took us just a second to figure that one out. Since he could walk we've been showing him pictures of everybody and every time we show him one of himself we say "Who's that, Ian?", "That's you." So now when he sees a picture of himself he says "You." Very clever boy.
Did I mention Reagan is jovial and rolls everywhere? I don't want to make it seem like I am forgetting about her it's just that right now there is not much new going on with here. She is sitting up in her high chair when she eats now. She is a very fast roller on the carpet. She is very strong. She had one of Ian's shoes and he wanted it so he went to grab it from her. The look on his face made it clear this was not going to be as easy as talking candy from a baby, or a shoe as it were. He tugged a few times and she did not let go. Finally, he gave one last hard pull and just before he heaved...she let go. He went flying backwards across the room and landed on his big Mac Lego truck and smashed it into all its Lego pieces. I could have sworn Reagan turned to me and winked. She gets that from her mother. Maybe Ian's not as clever as we think.
Don't worry the Lego truck was easily re-assembled. Ian's bottom was another story.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Lance is a bad mutha...UPDATED...
"Shut yo mouth!"
"I'm only talkin bout Lance."
"I can dig it."
"I'm only talkin bout Lance."
"I can dig it."
IT WAS LANCE!
Monday, July 21, 2008
Ernest Hemingway was born today...
so in that vain I will write the following blog in Hemingway style.
The gym was new and clean. Much unlike the gyms in which I spent my youth: musty, old edifices that could have survived winds of the hurricane type. Madison was enthusiastically practicing soccer with the other offspring. All was well. Until the "coach" decided to use his unusurpable power to play a game that can only be described as the prelude to anarchy. The participants were lined up along each side of the gym while the plethora of balls was placed in the middle. The eager children were told that they had to run to the middle of the gym and bring as many balls back to their side of the gym as possible. On the "Go", they rushed to the covey of balls with unbridled avarice. All the while reminding one of a stampede of the buffalo type. As you would expect, someone was run over by one of the opposing buffalo. She hit hard. Although the gym floor was made of the new space-age rubber polymer, it might as well have been made of concrete of the air hanger type.
I picked Madison up and brought her to the bleachers. Madison wept the tears of defeat, much like the Spaniards in The Battle of Cartagena. After a while, she said she felt better. I then proceeded to give her the speech of the "When you fall off the horse you must get back on" type. She made a go of it. I was as proud as a red-blooded American man could be. Her bravery was rewarded with a refreshing swim with water so clear and clean it felt as if you were in a mountain stream unmolested by human intervention.
The rest of the weekend was relaxing. Swimming. Hiking, Sport playing of the baseball type. One image of Madison wearing her new pink leotard for her dance camp while practicing swinging a baseball bat brought visions of a well-rounded individual who will ultimately succeed in life because she takes on life's challenges head first much like the bald eagle of Alaska who, as a bird of prey, know they're cool.
Ian has turned a corner. His days of perpetual unhappiness of the tantrum type are over. He still has his moments of testosterone filled outbursts but his skills of the reasoning type have increased proportionally to his height. Despite his outward ruggedness, Ian is a sensitive soul. Always with a hug for Madison or Reagan as needed.
Reagan is joining the throngs of the toothed. The white dots are appearing on her gum line as the glaciers of the Arctic appear on the horizon while waking up in the crows nest after a night of drinking single malt scotch and wondering how I actually ended up in the crows nest. She is constantly jovial. Which endears her to this weather worn heart even more.
To say I am lucky would be an understatement the likes of which have never been witnessed.
The gym was new and clean. Much unlike the gyms in which I spent my youth: musty, old edifices that could have survived winds of the hurricane type. Madison was enthusiastically practicing soccer with the other offspring. All was well. Until the "coach" decided to use his unusurpable power to play a game that can only be described as the prelude to anarchy. The participants were lined up along each side of the gym while the plethora of balls was placed in the middle. The eager children were told that they had to run to the middle of the gym and bring as many balls back to their side of the gym as possible. On the "Go", they rushed to the covey of balls with unbridled avarice. All the while reminding one of a stampede of the buffalo type. As you would expect, someone was run over by one of the opposing buffalo. She hit hard. Although the gym floor was made of the new space-age rubber polymer, it might as well have been made of concrete of the air hanger type.
I picked Madison up and brought her to the bleachers. Madison wept the tears of defeat, much like the Spaniards in The Battle of Cartagena. After a while, she said she felt better. I then proceeded to give her the speech of the "When you fall off the horse you must get back on" type. She made a go of it. I was as proud as a red-blooded American man could be. Her bravery was rewarded with a refreshing swim with water so clear and clean it felt as if you were in a mountain stream unmolested by human intervention.
The rest of the weekend was relaxing. Swimming. Hiking, Sport playing of the baseball type. One image of Madison wearing her new pink leotard for her dance camp while practicing swinging a baseball bat brought visions of a well-rounded individual who will ultimately succeed in life because she takes on life's challenges head first much like the bald eagle of Alaska who, as a bird of prey, know they're cool.
Ian has turned a corner. His days of perpetual unhappiness of the tantrum type are over. He still has his moments of testosterone filled outbursts but his skills of the reasoning type have increased proportionally to his height. Despite his outward ruggedness, Ian is a sensitive soul. Always with a hug for Madison or Reagan as needed.
Reagan is joining the throngs of the toothed. The white dots are appearing on her gum line as the glaciers of the Arctic appear on the horizon while waking up in the crows nest after a night of drinking single malt scotch and wondering how I actually ended up in the crows nest. She is constantly jovial. Which endears her to this weather worn heart even more.
To say I am lucky would be an understatement the likes of which have never been witnessed.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Introducing Lance Lawson...UPDATED...
Lance Lawson was a comic strip in the 40's and 50's. 4 frames. A crime. And a crime solved. Very economical crime fighting.
It is all based on visual evidence. There is some clue in the strip that usually gives it away. Of course, that is unless it is based on actually knowing something. A typical Lance Lawson dialogue:
"I was listening to Beethoven's 10th and I heard the gunshot. I rushed down here and he was dead."
"You're lying."
"You're right I did it."
Lance don't fool around.
Please leave a comment if you think you know the answer. Heck leave one even if you don't.
The answers will be posted later in an update of the same post.
Click on the image to get a bigger picture. It's easier to read.
Enjoy...
It is all based on visual evidence. There is some clue in the strip that usually gives it away. Of course, that is unless it is based on actually knowing something. A typical Lance Lawson dialogue:
"I was listening to Beethoven's 10th and I heard the gunshot. I rushed down here and he was dead."
"You're lying."
"You're right I did it."
Lance don't fool around.
Please leave a comment if you think you know the answer. Heck leave one even if you don't.
The answers will be posted later in an update of the same post.
Click on the image to get a bigger picture. It's easier to read.
Enjoy...
Ask Madison what I think of these dolls...
There is hope for our culture: Bratz dolls have been dealt a severe blow in the courts, which ruled that they are “ugly beyond conception, and promote values that make Paris Hilton look like Eleanor Roosevelt.” The court also issued an immediate injunction against the planned Eleanor Roosevelt Bratz doll, which the company planned to release to improve its image.
Actually, no. And I’m glad; the courts have no business telling someone their product is too ugly to live, and you can’t forbid someone for trying to market slut-trolls. It would be better if the last Bratz was sent unsold to the landfill because no one bought them. No, it’s a case of Mattel suing the Bratz inventor, claiming he invented the hideous, overlipped monsters while he worked for the Barbie maker.
The story lets us put a name to the Bratz plague – Carter Bryant is the person who invented the plastic doxies. Favorite part of this story: before handing over his computer to authorites, Bryant erased some files with a program called “Evidence Eliminator.” I’m sure that’s a lot more innocent than it sounds.
Why do I not like the Bratz? Because I have a daughter, that’s why.
How is it...
you can receive a degree from an accredited 4 year university and yet you still say suppos-ably? I mean, what's up with that? It's not that easy to correct them either. You try to bring it up in conversation:
"Supposedly, the earth revolves around the sun."
"Supposedly, my car runs on gas."
But they just don't get the hint.
This week has been rather uneventful. For me at least. Kelly is accompanying at a choir camp at North Texas this week. I'm sure she enjoys getting out of the house once in a while. I know she enjoys being around her colleagues again. She said as much. For the record, she could go back whenever she wants to. As a matter of fact, she never had to leave. It was her decision to do so. She wanted to be with the kids. Kudos to her. It has been wonderful having her home but if and when she wants to go back, we're behind her 100%. (Although she does have to wait until Reagan is out of diapers.)
Madison and Ian and Reagan all went to dayschool on Wednesday. I think it was good for all of them to see their playmates again. They all did great or so said their teachers. They were tired when I picked them up from school which meant early bedtimes. Yahoo!
Kelly and I have been faithfully following our budgets and it is starting to pay off. We have not had to transfer any money to cover anything lately and we actually have some money left over. It's tough but necessary. There is one part of me that wants Kelly to go back to teaching because we would be rolling in the dough. "We're in the money. Woot-woot-woo." Until then, we'll tighten the belt.
Not a lot going on this weekend either. A house warming party on Saturday. But other than that just hanging at the crib trying to kick it.
Supposably.
"Supposedly, the earth revolves around the sun."
"Supposedly, my car runs on gas."
But they just don't get the hint.
This week has been rather uneventful. For me at least. Kelly is accompanying at a choir camp at North Texas this week. I'm sure she enjoys getting out of the house once in a while. I know she enjoys being around her colleagues again. She said as much. For the record, she could go back whenever she wants to. As a matter of fact, she never had to leave. It was her decision to do so. She wanted to be with the kids. Kudos to her. It has been wonderful having her home but if and when she wants to go back, we're behind her 100%. (Although she does have to wait until Reagan is out of diapers.)
Madison and Ian and Reagan all went to dayschool on Wednesday. I think it was good for all of them to see their playmates again. They all did great or so said their teachers. They were tired when I picked them up from school which meant early bedtimes. Yahoo!
Kelly and I have been faithfully following our budgets and it is starting to pay off. We have not had to transfer any money to cover anything lately and we actually have some money left over. It's tough but necessary. There is one part of me that wants Kelly to go back to teaching because we would be rolling in the dough. "We're in the money. Woot-woot-woo." Until then, we'll tighten the belt.
Not a lot going on this weekend either. A house warming party on Saturday. But other than that just hanging at the crib trying to kick it.
Supposably.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
My one recurring dream...
is a sucky one at best. It involves Kelly and my insecurities.
The dream is a little different each time. The era changes. The supporting cast changes. The one thing that doesn't change is the theme. In the end, Kelly and I are not together. Remember I am talking about a dream here.
Most of them take place in high school. I met Kelly in high school and pined for her even then. She and I went on a few dates but, much to my chagrin, nothing ever materialized. I wasn't aggressive enough. She was too innocent. I don't know. It just didn't work out. In the dreams, she is usually chasing the same guy. She is very attentive when he's around and because I pretty much stalk her in my dreams I know exactly whet she's thinking. She lights up whenever he's around.
This takes place in every. single. freakin. dream.
The feelings I have in the midst of the dreams are as real as the emotions I feel now. I wonder why she doesn't want to be with me. I wish I was the other guy so she would want to be with me. I feel frustration that the other guy doesn't appreciate her the way I would. It is a sickening soup of pain and anguish and longing that truly puts me in the doldrums.
Sometimes we are together at first but then through the course of the nightmare she finds another guy and I am history. Sometimes she is dating the guy. Sometimes she is just wooing the guy. Always the guy and always with the dating.
Of course I try to analyze the dream. Am I jealous of this other guy? Perhaps. But no way in the world would I switch places with him. Do I not trust Kelly? Ummm...no. Kelly is the most honest and trustworthy person I have ever met. Bar none. End of sentence. Period.
After all the hand wringing and psycho-analysis, I have come to one conclusion. I have these god-awful gut wrenching dreams because of the way they make me feel...when I wake up.
When I wake up and turnover and realize she is there with little ole me, there is an overwhelming sense of relief. Calm. Joy. Contentment. Happiness. Peace. Love.
I guess it's one of those "you don't know what you've got til it's gone" sort of things. My subconscious is reminding me every once in a while what I have and to make sure I never take it for granted. I am only human. I do take her for granted and I publicly apologize for that, Kelly.
I'm just glad my subconscious is a lot smarter than I.
The dream is a little different each time. The era changes. The supporting cast changes. The one thing that doesn't change is the theme. In the end, Kelly and I are not together. Remember I am talking about a dream here.
Most of them take place in high school. I met Kelly in high school and pined for her even then. She and I went on a few dates but, much to my chagrin, nothing ever materialized. I wasn't aggressive enough. She was too innocent. I don't know. It just didn't work out. In the dreams, she is usually chasing the same guy. She is very attentive when he's around and because I pretty much stalk her in my dreams I know exactly whet she's thinking. She lights up whenever he's around.
This takes place in every. single. freakin. dream.
The feelings I have in the midst of the dreams are as real as the emotions I feel now. I wonder why she doesn't want to be with me. I wish I was the other guy so she would want to be with me. I feel frustration that the other guy doesn't appreciate her the way I would. It is a sickening soup of pain and anguish and longing that truly puts me in the doldrums.
Sometimes we are together at first but then through the course of the nightmare she finds another guy and I am history. Sometimes she is dating the guy. Sometimes she is just wooing the guy. Always the guy and always with the dating.
Of course I try to analyze the dream. Am I jealous of this other guy? Perhaps. But no way in the world would I switch places with him. Do I not trust Kelly? Ummm...no. Kelly is the most honest and trustworthy person I have ever met. Bar none. End of sentence. Period.
After all the hand wringing and psycho-analysis, I have come to one conclusion. I have these god-awful gut wrenching dreams because of the way they make me feel...when I wake up.
When I wake up and turnover and realize she is there with little ole me, there is an overwhelming sense of relief. Calm. Joy. Contentment. Happiness. Peace. Love.
I guess it's one of those "you don't know what you've got til it's gone" sort of things. My subconscious is reminding me every once in a while what I have and to make sure I never take it for granted. I am only human. I do take her for granted and I publicly apologize for that, Kelly.
I'm just glad my subconscious is a lot smarter than I.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Sometimes you just don't know what to write...
I haven't posted since Friday. It seems like forever. I get ideas in my head which I think would make good blog material but then I lose them. I need to start carrying around a little tape recorder to get my thoughts on tape:
"Note to self, buy more toilet paper. Possible blog idea; Does ontogeny recapitulate phylogeny?"
Friday went swimming with the kiddos. Always a fun time. Ian comes out for about 20 minutes then is ready to go back in. Madison would stay out there all day. A true Ariel.
Saturday morning I went on my brother Steve's boat with my sister Katy and my other brother Mike. For the record, I have another brother but he lives in Phoenix and couldn't make it out for the boat-fest. We just sat on the boat and floated and talked. We didn't even get in the water. It was very nice. We spoke of family. Being a parent. Being a son or daughter. Religion. Faith. A very enjoyable way to spend a Saturday morning. We missed you Paul.
I already had my swim suit on so when I got home I went swimming with the kids. Another good time was had by all.
Kelly played at a wedding at 4:00 and was home by 6:00. I had heard a Pei Wei commercial on the radio on the way home from the lake and realized I needed a fix. So Kelly and I packed up the remaining two kids, Madison was at Kelly's parents house to spend the night, and brought them to said parents house and went to Pei Wei. Together. Alone. Sans Kids.
We just sat and talked. We spoke of family. Being a parent...that's pretty much it. We don't have as much in common as we think. I shudder to think what we'll do when the kids are gone.
I'm kidding. I'll be honest sometimes that happens but there was no lull in the conversation this time. Kelly is following politics more and that is always fun to talk about.
After dinner we rented a movie, "Vantage Point". Horrible. Don't bother. Besides the obligatory America is evil schtick apparently our whole presidential secret service detail can be brought down by a few dudes and a chick. As an added bonus we learn that presidential doubles are used all the time. Who knew there were two Bill Clintons out there walking around? Maybe that's why he gets all that...we'll talk about that later.
We also went to Hallmark and picked up a few cards. They had Christmas ornaments out. I usually would be the first to harumph about that but let me set the scene. You walk in from a 100 degree day. You are greeted with a cool enveloping breeze which instantly cools the skin and your attitude. You notice Christmas trees. Not real trees but decorative ones with lovely ornaments. "Let it Snow" is playing on the background. The ornaments were wonderfully brilliantly Christmas. They went from traditional, a mountain scene with working train sets weaving in and out of the tunnels to contemporary, a wooden box with the word "fragile" written on it with a leg lamp inside and a button when pushed plays out the scene:
"Frah-gee-lay. It must be Italian."
"I think that says fragile, honey."
The clerk was somewhat amazed as I spoke right along with the scene. She lost her amazement when I said "dear" and the ornament said "Honey". Chek the movie. It's "dear". Who quality controls these things? Amazing to me something with this glaring an error could get out the door. The one thing they all had in common was high prices. To get the alpine choo-choo scene and the Christmas Story ornament would have been $60. That's not a typo. I almost got them anyway. That AC worked really well.
Went to Starbucks for coffee and my VMF. That's venti moche frapuccino.
Sunday went to Catholic Mass. Hadn't been in a while and it was exactly what I needed. Cameron, Katy''s son and our Godson, received his first communion. He did great.
The receiving of the Eucharist was very moving for me as well. I find it hard to put into words what I felt yesterday but suffice it to say I felt the presence of God with me. Brought me to tears actually.
After church we had a party for Cameron, Tori, Katy's daughter and Jack, Katy's husband. Tori turns 18 today and Jack turned 40. Went swimming again. Had cake and ice cream, pizza the whole nine yards.
The little ones crashed. Kelly went back to church but Madison wanted to stay with me. She usually goes with Kelly on Sunday nights. I took her to the Catholic church with me Sunday morning. She steps one foot in a Catholic church and now doesn't want to go on Sunday nights? Oh boy.
Another great weekend in the land of stunt double presidents.
"Does onotogeny recapitulate phylogeny?" is just a fancy way of phrasing the nature vs nurture debate. I learned that phrase in freshman biology. Stuck with me ever since.
"Note to self, buy more toilet paper. Possible blog idea; Does ontogeny recapitulate phylogeny?"
Friday went swimming with the kiddos. Always a fun time. Ian comes out for about 20 minutes then is ready to go back in. Madison would stay out there all day. A true Ariel.
Saturday morning I went on my brother Steve's boat with my sister Katy and my other brother Mike. For the record, I have another brother but he lives in Phoenix and couldn't make it out for the boat-fest. We just sat on the boat and floated and talked. We didn't even get in the water. It was very nice. We spoke of family. Being a parent. Being a son or daughter. Religion. Faith. A very enjoyable way to spend a Saturday morning. We missed you Paul.
I already had my swim suit on so when I got home I went swimming with the kids. Another good time was had by all.
Kelly played at a wedding at 4:00 and was home by 6:00. I had heard a Pei Wei commercial on the radio on the way home from the lake and realized I needed a fix. So Kelly and I packed up the remaining two kids, Madison was at Kelly's parents house to spend the night, and brought them to said parents house and went to Pei Wei. Together. Alone. Sans Kids.
We just sat and talked. We spoke of family. Being a parent...that's pretty much it. We don't have as much in common as we think. I shudder to think what we'll do when the kids are gone.
I'm kidding. I'll be honest sometimes that happens but there was no lull in the conversation this time. Kelly is following politics more and that is always fun to talk about.
After dinner we rented a movie, "Vantage Point". Horrible. Don't bother. Besides the obligatory America is evil schtick apparently our whole presidential secret service detail can be brought down by a few dudes and a chick. As an added bonus we learn that presidential doubles are used all the time. Who knew there were two Bill Clintons out there walking around? Maybe that's why he gets all that...we'll talk about that later.
We also went to Hallmark and picked up a few cards. They had Christmas ornaments out. I usually would be the first to harumph about that but let me set the scene. You walk in from a 100 degree day. You are greeted with a cool enveloping breeze which instantly cools the skin and your attitude. You notice Christmas trees. Not real trees but decorative ones with lovely ornaments. "Let it Snow" is playing on the background. The ornaments were wonderfully brilliantly Christmas. They went from traditional, a mountain scene with working train sets weaving in and out of the tunnels to contemporary, a wooden box with the word "fragile" written on it with a leg lamp inside and a button when pushed plays out the scene:
"Frah-gee-lay. It must be Italian."
"I think that says fragile, honey."
The clerk was somewhat amazed as I spoke right along with the scene. She lost her amazement when I said "dear" and the ornament said "Honey". Chek the movie. It's "dear". Who quality controls these things? Amazing to me something with this glaring an error could get out the door. The one thing they all had in common was high prices. To get the alpine choo-choo scene and the Christmas Story ornament would have been $60. That's not a typo. I almost got them anyway. That AC worked really well.
Went to Starbucks for coffee and my VMF. That's venti moche frapuccino.
Sunday went to Catholic Mass. Hadn't been in a while and it was exactly what I needed. Cameron, Katy''s son and our Godson, received his first communion. He did great.
The receiving of the Eucharist was very moving for me as well. I find it hard to put into words what I felt yesterday but suffice it to say I felt the presence of God with me. Brought me to tears actually.
After church we had a party for Cameron, Tori, Katy's daughter and Jack, Katy's husband. Tori turns 18 today and Jack turned 40. Went swimming again. Had cake and ice cream, pizza the whole nine yards.
The little ones crashed. Kelly went back to church but Madison wanted to stay with me. She usually goes with Kelly on Sunday nights. I took her to the Catholic church with me Sunday morning. She steps one foot in a Catholic church and now doesn't want to go on Sunday nights? Oh boy.
Another great weekend in the land of stunt double presidents.
"Does onotogeny recapitulate phylogeny?" is just a fancy way of phrasing the nature vs nurture debate. I learned that phrase in freshman biology. Stuck with me ever since.
Friday, July 11, 2008
If you drive slower than I...
you're a moron. If you drive faster, you're an idiot.
Road rage is an interesting phenomenon. Most people think road rage is a byproduct of an angry driver. While technically that is true, it is not the whole story. I portend there would be no road rage if people were considerate or thought about others on the road. I happen to have 3 cases in point.
Driving through the toll tag lanes gets a little crowded in the mornings. At the toll booths, the express lanes go from 2 to 3. Everyone is moving along at a 60 mph clip. Not bad. Except for the one bozo who pulls in the 3rd lane to pass everyone. When he gets to the merge he squeezes in where there is no room. The car in the lane into which he is merging must lurch over into the right lane which causes everyone behind the scene to put on their brakes because the even flow of traffic has been disrupted. So because this one guy decides he is more important than the rest of us, we all must risk wrecking our cars for his convenience.
2nd case invloves the same guy. A mile or so up the road there is an exit to get onto another freeway. This usually backs up and there is a line to get on the on ramp. The same bozo drives up as far as he can in the lane next to the line and slows down to squeeze in to the line. The cars behind him are slamming on their brakes and certain cars are doing the swerve into the other lane move to avoid the braking car in front of them. So because this guy is so important, we all must risk wrecking our cars for his convenience.
3rd case probably is this guys brother. The exit I take from the freeway has 4 lanes. Two turning left and two turning right. The left turning lanes were backed up this morning. The right two lanes had a few cars. One guy in the right turn ONLY lane turns left instead. Cuts off a car and backs traffic up even more. What's the problem with taking a right and finding a u-turn?
It's incidents like these that cause road rage. By the time I witnessed these events I was ready to pound someone. If these drivers had been considerate, there would have been no problems.
Some might tell me I just need to watch my temper. Well, I dismiss those people.
Last story.
I am ever vigilant on the road. I can usually spot things that are going to happen before they do. Coming off the freeway the other night, I noticed a little beemer racing along the access road. he was behind me. By the time I got up to the off ramp, he had made it in front of me but just barely. he had to have hit the accelerator to get there because I did. So when I hit the access road, I was right on his tail. I assumed he thought I would slow down like everybody else does. He gave me a gesture in the rear view mirror. I pulled alongside him and rolled down my window to inquire about his issue with me:
Lummox: "You're supposed to go 35 coming off the freeway."
Me: "And what's the speed limit on the access road? 70?"
"There's a sign back there that says 35mph."
"Are you referring to that yellow sign back there."
"Yea"
"Well, there you have it."
"Have what?"
"The sign is yellow."
"So?"
"Ah, 'So?' the mark of a true intellectual? You don't know the difference between a yellow speed limit sign and a white one?"
"No."
"White signs are regulatory. YELLOW signs are advisory. As in a suggestion."
I proceed to roll up my window to "ASSH%!&".
Man that felt good.
Road rage is an interesting phenomenon. Most people think road rage is a byproduct of an angry driver. While technically that is true, it is not the whole story. I portend there would be no road rage if people were considerate or thought about others on the road. I happen to have 3 cases in point.
Driving through the toll tag lanes gets a little crowded in the mornings. At the toll booths, the express lanes go from 2 to 3. Everyone is moving along at a 60 mph clip. Not bad. Except for the one bozo who pulls in the 3rd lane to pass everyone. When he gets to the merge he squeezes in where there is no room. The car in the lane into which he is merging must lurch over into the right lane which causes everyone behind the scene to put on their brakes because the even flow of traffic has been disrupted. So because this one guy decides he is more important than the rest of us, we all must risk wrecking our cars for his convenience.
2nd case invloves the same guy. A mile or so up the road there is an exit to get onto another freeway. This usually backs up and there is a line to get on the on ramp. The same bozo drives up as far as he can in the lane next to the line and slows down to squeeze in to the line. The cars behind him are slamming on their brakes and certain cars are doing the swerve into the other lane move to avoid the braking car in front of them. So because this guy is so important, we all must risk wrecking our cars for his convenience.
3rd case probably is this guys brother. The exit I take from the freeway has 4 lanes. Two turning left and two turning right. The left turning lanes were backed up this morning. The right two lanes had a few cars. One guy in the right turn ONLY lane turns left instead. Cuts off a car and backs traffic up even more. What's the problem with taking a right and finding a u-turn?
It's incidents like these that cause road rage. By the time I witnessed these events I was ready to pound someone. If these drivers had been considerate, there would have been no problems.
Some might tell me I just need to watch my temper. Well, I dismiss those people.
Last story.
I am ever vigilant on the road. I can usually spot things that are going to happen before they do. Coming off the freeway the other night, I noticed a little beemer racing along the access road. he was behind me. By the time I got up to the off ramp, he had made it in front of me but just barely. he had to have hit the accelerator to get there because I did. So when I hit the access road, I was right on his tail. I assumed he thought I would slow down like everybody else does. He gave me a gesture in the rear view mirror. I pulled alongside him and rolled down my window to inquire about his issue with me:
Lummox: "You're supposed to go 35 coming off the freeway."
Me: "And what's the speed limit on the access road? 70?"
"There's a sign back there that says 35mph."
"Are you referring to that yellow sign back there."
"Yea"
"Well, there you have it."
"Have what?"
"The sign is yellow."
"So?"
"Ah, 'So?' the mark of a true intellectual? You don't know the difference between a yellow speed limit sign and a white one?"
"No."
"White signs are regulatory. YELLOW signs are advisory. As in a suggestion."
I proceed to roll up my window to "ASSH%!&".
Man that felt good.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
It's just one of those days...
It's just one of those days...where you want to hug your kids tight.
It's just one of those days...when you scratch your head.
It's just one of those days...when you want to laugh.
It's just one of those days...where you thank God You're alive.
It's just one of those days...when you scratch your head.
It's just one of those days...when you want to laugh.
It's just one of those days...where you thank God You're alive.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Had a great 4th...
Friday mom and dad came over. We went swimming and ate some burgers. A very relaxing day. At night, we lit the fireworks I bought. Ian was fine until one of the cones let out a loud whistle. He did not like that too much. So for the remainder of the time he and mommy watched from inside the house. The sun room we have has large windows and a glass door so he got all the effect. Madison loved the sparklers. Ian even came out after the last big cone and watched the sparklers. I hope this becomes a family tradition. I don't see why not.
Saturday was a lazy day. Pretty much sat around and watched movies and swam. Not a bad day.
Sunday was busy. Church first where we sang the Battle Hymn of the Republic. A fantastic song if you're a first tenor. Which I am. All went well except for one crack on the high note which no one heard apparently so don't tell anyone. Next my nephew Isaiah's birthday party. He turned seven. He is quite a basketball player. Most of the pictures Isaiah had a bball in his hand. All of us were there from Kelly's side of the family which doesn't happen very often because Scott works weekends. He works weekdays too. I don't know how he does it. Scott is married to Kerri, Kelly's sister, and Isaiah is their son.
Next we went back to church at 4:30 for mens chorus rehearsal. At 6:00 we had a church picnic in honor of the 4th...on the 6th...it's complicated. The men in the choir sang a few patriotic songs including the Armed Forces medley. Now, the median age of our church is up there. Let's just say there is more blue hair than not. During the medley, the men stood when the song signifying their branch of the service was being sung. Every year I tell myself "Don't cry. Don't cry." But this year was just like all the rest, I looked up from my music and saw the men standing tall and proud, some not even able to stand by their own power but standing nonetheless. It is a very overpowering and humbling experience. This is the Greatest Generation. Right here in our fellowship hall in Farmers Branch TX. Out of a church of about 100 families, I'll bet 40 men stood up during that song. If there is one thing our little church has, it is patriots. It has excellent music as well but that's another blog.
It was a little tougher to get back into the groove this week. I don't know why. The 3 day weekend goes so fast. It's a bummer to go back to the grindstone. I guess I am just waiting for my stocks to come in and then I'll be on easy street. People always tell me that I'd be bored if I didn't work. I can honestly say I would love to find out. But I don't think boredom will be an issue.
God Bless America!
God Bless the military men and women!
Saturday was a lazy day. Pretty much sat around and watched movies and swam. Not a bad day.
Sunday was busy. Church first where we sang the Battle Hymn of the Republic. A fantastic song if you're a first tenor. Which I am. All went well except for one crack on the high note which no one heard apparently so don't tell anyone. Next my nephew Isaiah's birthday party. He turned seven. He is quite a basketball player. Most of the pictures Isaiah had a bball in his hand. All of us were there from Kelly's side of the family which doesn't happen very often because Scott works weekends. He works weekdays too. I don't know how he does it. Scott is married to Kerri, Kelly's sister, and Isaiah is their son.
Next we went back to church at 4:30 for mens chorus rehearsal. At 6:00 we had a church picnic in honor of the 4th...on the 6th...it's complicated. The men in the choir sang a few patriotic songs including the Armed Forces medley. Now, the median age of our church is up there. Let's just say there is more blue hair than not. During the medley, the men stood when the song signifying their branch of the service was being sung. Every year I tell myself "Don't cry. Don't cry." But this year was just like all the rest, I looked up from my music and saw the men standing tall and proud, some not even able to stand by their own power but standing nonetheless. It is a very overpowering and humbling experience. This is the Greatest Generation. Right here in our fellowship hall in Farmers Branch TX. Out of a church of about 100 families, I'll bet 40 men stood up during that song. If there is one thing our little church has, it is patriots. It has excellent music as well but that's another blog.
It was a little tougher to get back into the groove this week. I don't know why. The 3 day weekend goes so fast. It's a bummer to go back to the grindstone. I guess I am just waiting for my stocks to come in and then I'll be on easy street. People always tell me that I'd be bored if I didn't work. I can honestly say I would love to find out. But I don't think boredom will be an issue.
God Bless America!
God Bless the military men and women!
Sunday, July 6, 2008
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Friday, July 4, 2008
Happy 4th of July!...
I stumbled across this citizenship quiz yesterday. Some great questions. It is a good reminder for us to study our history. I missed one. I'll tell you which one later.
So, 232 years ago a group of 56 men representing a larger group of people presented a document to the world declaring our independence from the most powerful nation on earth. The fact that these men even gathered together was already declared an act of treason by King George III. Yet, they still signed the declaration or death warrant, as some called it.
"We hold these truths to be self-evident," the document declares, "that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness – That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed."
Wow.
Today, America faces many problems, but as long as we have innovative thinkers and a courageous citizenry, then this country which was founded with a "firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence" will surely overcome our current obstacles. We have certainly risen above them before.
I read the polls that show America is not looked upon favorably in much of the world. Sometimes doing the right thing is controversial. The fact of the matter is America remains the world's greatest hope. If not for America, who would stand up to Islamist would-be tyrants who seek to impose their medieval and sadistic vision on the world? Even as many Europeans heap scorn on us and our foreign policy, they continue to gladly take comfort in the protection our military might provides them.
Yes, for so many reasons, America is a remarkable nation. Speaking in 2002 to an MTV audience, former Secretary of State Colin Powell explained to a hostile questioner what makes America so unique in world history. He said,
There is a reputation that America has, which we should not be too quick to give up. It is encapsulated in a story Ronald Reagan told during his farewell address in 1989. The image that kept coming back to our outgoing president, as he was reflecting upon America and his tenure in the White House, was "a nautical one – a small story about a big ship, and a refugee and a sailor."
"It was back in the early ’80s," Reagan said, "at the height of the boat people. And the sailor was hard at work on the carrier Midway, which was patrolling the South China Sea. The sailor, like most American servicemen, was young, smart and fiercely observant. The crew spied on the horizon a leaky little boat. And crammed inside were refugees from Indochina hoping to get to America. The Midway sent a small launch to bring them to the ship and safety. As the refugees made their way through the choppy seas, one spied the sailor on deck and stood up and called out to him. He yelled, ‘Hello, American sailor. Hello, freedom man.’”
I would like to think I would have had the wherewithal to stand with those men at the precipice of history and do a virtual snub-your-nose at Great Britain. I wonder. I am pretty set in my ways. I certainly am old-school. Would I have sided with the patriots or rebels as the crown called them? I think my disdain for unjust government would have been the kicker. Taxation without representation would have me a rebel. Crown be damned.
Despite its faults we still live in the greatest nation on earth. We are not the cause of the worlds ills. We have had more men die for other peoples liberty than any nation that ever existed on the face of God's green earth. We don't just talk the talk but we walk the walk. I am proud to be an American.
Always have been and always will be.
I missed the question about the number of ammendments to the Constitution. D'OH!
So, 232 years ago a group of 56 men representing a larger group of people presented a document to the world declaring our independence from the most powerful nation on earth. The fact that these men even gathered together was already declared an act of treason by King George III. Yet, they still signed the declaration or death warrant, as some called it.
"We hold these truths to be self-evident," the document declares, "that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness – That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed."
Wow.
Today, America faces many problems, but as long as we have innovative thinkers and a courageous citizenry, then this country which was founded with a "firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence" will surely overcome our current obstacles. We have certainly risen above them before.
I read the polls that show America is not looked upon favorably in much of the world. Sometimes doing the right thing is controversial. The fact of the matter is America remains the world's greatest hope. If not for America, who would stand up to Islamist would-be tyrants who seek to impose their medieval and sadistic vision on the world? Even as many Europeans heap scorn on us and our foreign policy, they continue to gladly take comfort in the protection our military might provides them.
Yes, for so many reasons, America is a remarkable nation. Speaking in 2002 to an MTV audience, former Secretary of State Colin Powell explained to a hostile questioner what makes America so unique in world history. He said,
"[F]ar from being the Great Satan, I would say that we are the Great Protector.
We have sent men and women from the armed forces of the United States to other
parts of the world throughout the past century to put down oppression. We
defeated Fascism. We defeated Communism. We saved Europe in World War I and
World War II. We were willing to do it, glad to do it. We went to Korea. We went
to Vietnam. All in the interest of preserving the rights of
people.
"And when all those conflicts were over, what did we do?
Did we stay and conquer? Did we say, ‘OK, we defeated Germany. Now Germany
belongs to us? We defeated Japan, so Japan belongs to us?’ No. What did we do?
We built them up. We gave them democratic systems which they have embraced
totally to their soul. And did we ask for any land? No, the only land we ever
asked for was enough land to bury our dead. And that is the kind of nation we
are."
There is a reputation that America has, which we should not be too quick to give up. It is encapsulated in a story Ronald Reagan told during his farewell address in 1989. The image that kept coming back to our outgoing president, as he was reflecting upon America and his tenure in the White House, was "a nautical one – a small story about a big ship, and a refugee and a sailor."
"It was back in the early ’80s," Reagan said, "at the height of the boat people. And the sailor was hard at work on the carrier Midway, which was patrolling the South China Sea. The sailor, like most American servicemen, was young, smart and fiercely observant. The crew spied on the horizon a leaky little boat. And crammed inside were refugees from Indochina hoping to get to America. The Midway sent a small launch to bring them to the ship and safety. As the refugees made their way through the choppy seas, one spied the sailor on deck and stood up and called out to him. He yelled, ‘Hello, American sailor. Hello, freedom man.’”
I would like to think I would have had the wherewithal to stand with those men at the precipice of history and do a virtual snub-your-nose at Great Britain. I wonder. I am pretty set in my ways. I certainly am old-school. Would I have sided with the patriots or rebels as the crown called them? I think my disdain for unjust government would have been the kicker. Taxation without representation would have me a rebel. Crown be damned.
Despite its faults we still live in the greatest nation on earth. We are not the cause of the worlds ills. We have had more men die for other peoples liberty than any nation that ever existed on the face of God's green earth. We don't just talk the talk but we walk the walk. I am proud to be an American.
Always have been and always will be.
I missed the question about the number of ammendments to the Constitution. D'OH!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Can you smell that?...
It smells like a 3 day weekend. I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to this weekend. 3 days. No work. No work for 3 days. Yes. I am happy!
It will be an uneventful 3 days for us. Nothing major planned. Thursday night we'll be going to the local fireworks show at the historical park. It's always fun. For a small town, we put on one heck of a show. It always makes you feel patriotic. Everybody wearing red white and blue nothing but good ole American music in the background, anything from Copland to Toby Keith...
which reminds me, that phrase "From this thing to that thing" if used wrong bugs the crap out of me. It is so overused and used incorrectly. Worst. Thing. Ever. The phrase should be used from A to Z or chronologically. How many furniture commercials do you see that say:
"Everything's on sale! Everything must go! From dressers to beds, we've got it all!"? OK. Now. What exactly falls between a dresser and a bed? It certainly can't be by the alphabet. Geographically? There is usually nothing between a dresser and a bed in the bedroom. Don't get me started on the couch. Honestly, how hard could it be to say from the Ar moire to the Wall Clock? (That was the best "w" I could come up with off the top of my head not being a furniture expert.) Everything would pretty much fall in there alphabetically.
The music example I gave above is done chronologically. Copland was considered the dean of American Composers, who coincidentally enough was accused of being a communist, to modern day Toby Keith. There certainly are artists that fall before Copland but none greater on the patriotic scale and no artist can come after Toby Keith because he is still producing music. I know my brother Mike is at this moment trying to cut holes in this line of reasoning which is exactly what I would be doing if he had written this. I don't worry about album release dates that would just be crazy.
Anywho, we always have a good time. We will definitely do some swimming as well. Cook burgers or dogs and have some watermelon and ice cream. Living the American dream.
I am going to go to the fireworks store and pick up some for the backyard. The fourth was something we always looked forward to. All the ladders in the middle of the street with all of the fireworks going off. The big display at the end of the street which came from the military base. It wasn't actually at the end of the street but pretty darn near. I would like my kids to see some fireworks in their house too. I don't need the government to save me from myself. I will water everything down before hand and they will be in the pool watching the show so if a spark lands on their head we can just dunk them.
Not Ian though he screams bloody murder.
It will be an uneventful 3 days for us. Nothing major planned. Thursday night we'll be going to the local fireworks show at the historical park. It's always fun. For a small town, we put on one heck of a show. It always makes you feel patriotic. Everybody wearing red white and blue nothing but good ole American music in the background, anything from Copland to Toby Keith...
which reminds me, that phrase "From this thing to that thing" if used wrong bugs the crap out of me. It is so overused and used incorrectly. Worst. Thing. Ever. The phrase should be used from A to Z or chronologically. How many furniture commercials do you see that say:
"Everything's on sale! Everything must go! From dressers to beds, we've got it all!"? OK. Now. What exactly falls between a dresser and a bed? It certainly can't be by the alphabet. Geographically? There is usually nothing between a dresser and a bed in the bedroom. Don't get me started on the couch. Honestly, how hard could it be to say from the Ar moire to the Wall Clock? (That was the best "w" I could come up with off the top of my head not being a furniture expert.) Everything would pretty much fall in there alphabetically.
The music example I gave above is done chronologically. Copland was considered the dean of American Composers, who coincidentally enough was accused of being a communist, to modern day Toby Keith. There certainly are artists that fall before Copland but none greater on the patriotic scale and no artist can come after Toby Keith because he is still producing music. I know my brother Mike is at this moment trying to cut holes in this line of reasoning which is exactly what I would be doing if he had written this. I don't worry about album release dates that would just be crazy.
Anywho, we always have a good time. We will definitely do some swimming as well. Cook burgers or dogs and have some watermelon and ice cream. Living the American dream.
I am going to go to the fireworks store and pick up some for the backyard. The fourth was something we always looked forward to. All the ladders in the middle of the street with all of the fireworks going off. The big display at the end of the street which came from the military base. It wasn't actually at the end of the street but pretty darn near. I would like my kids to see some fireworks in their house too. I don't need the government to save me from myself. I will water everything down before hand and they will be in the pool watching the show so if a spark lands on their head we can just dunk them.
Not Ian though he screams bloody murder.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Back to the routine...
Went swimming with the kiddos yesterday. We had not been in in a while because they had Vacation Bible School all of last week. Or as I like to call it heaven. Just kidding. Truth be told after the first night I was very bored and missed everybody. I would get home from work and about 10 minutes later they would be off to church for about 3 hours. When they got home it was time for bed. I didn't see much of them or Kelly all week. I missed them so it was nice to get back to our ritual of swimming after work.
Ian wears his floaties and likes to jump in the water. I have to catch him and hold him otherwise he cries. I have let him go before and he is able to float by himself. Did so for about 20 seconds until he realized I wasn't holding him anymore; then judging by the decibel level of the scream, I'm sure the neighbors thought I had run over his toe with the car. My ears are still ringing.
Madison is a mermaid. She loves the water. And she is a good swimmer. She doesn't have all the mechanics down yet but we're working on it. I don't worry about her at all.
So we're sitting in the pool after Ian has gone in, I guess he doesn't have the affinity for the water that Madison and I do, and she says:
"Daddy, tell me a joke."
"OK"
...
"Daddy!?!?"
"I'm thinking."
...
"Do you know a joke?"
"I know lots of jokes."
"Then tell me one"
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"They're not kid jokes. They're adult jokes."
"What's an adult joke?"
This was going very badly. So I started in on a joke about two guys at a bar, although I placed them in the park on a bench, when a big huge guy came up and asked one of the guys what time it was. The big guy had a high pitch squeaky voice. Very funny. The guy did not reply. The big guy asked again always with the squeaky voice this time visibly disturbed he wasn't being answered. No response. The third time the big guys asks he is rolling up his sleeves. The second guy on the bench tells him it's 10:15. The big guy leaves. The second guy asks the first guy why he didn't tell the big guy what time it was. Couldn't he tell he was about to get pummeled? The first guy turns to the second guy and says in the exact same high pitch squeaky voice, "I didn't want him to think I was making fun of him."
That was pretty much Madison's reaction too. Crickets. She laughed to be nice but it certainly was a pity laugh.
She asked for another so I said:
"How do you know there has been an elephant in the refrigerator? There are elephant prints in the butter."
At that moment I felt like Bill Cosby. She laughed and laughed. I was the funniest daddy on the planet.
Whew!
It's these times I remember most. I love her dance recitals and watching her sing at church but the one on ones, watching her face as she describes her wedding to Luke, her prince boyfriend, noticing her expressions and her mannerisms.
She emotes when she talks. It is very endearing.
Ian wears his floaties and likes to jump in the water. I have to catch him and hold him otherwise he cries. I have let him go before and he is able to float by himself. Did so for about 20 seconds until he realized I wasn't holding him anymore; then judging by the decibel level of the scream, I'm sure the neighbors thought I had run over his toe with the car. My ears are still ringing.
Madison is a mermaid. She loves the water. And she is a good swimmer. She doesn't have all the mechanics down yet but we're working on it. I don't worry about her at all.
So we're sitting in the pool after Ian has gone in, I guess he doesn't have the affinity for the water that Madison and I do, and she says:
"Daddy, tell me a joke."
"OK"
...
"Daddy!?!?"
"I'm thinking."
...
"Do you know a joke?"
"I know lots of jokes."
"Then tell me one"
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"They're not kid jokes. They're adult jokes."
"What's an adult joke?"
This was going very badly. So I started in on a joke about two guys at a bar, although I placed them in the park on a bench, when a big huge guy came up and asked one of the guys what time it was. The big guy had a high pitch squeaky voice. Very funny. The guy did not reply. The big guy asked again always with the squeaky voice this time visibly disturbed he wasn't being answered. No response. The third time the big guys asks he is rolling up his sleeves. The second guy on the bench tells him it's 10:15. The big guy leaves. The second guy asks the first guy why he didn't tell the big guy what time it was. Couldn't he tell he was about to get pummeled? The first guy turns to the second guy and says in the exact same high pitch squeaky voice, "I didn't want him to think I was making fun of him."
That was pretty much Madison's reaction too. Crickets. She laughed to be nice but it certainly was a pity laugh.
She asked for another so I said:
"How do you know there has been an elephant in the refrigerator? There are elephant prints in the butter."
At that moment I felt like Bill Cosby. She laughed and laughed. I was the funniest daddy on the planet.
Whew!
It's these times I remember most. I love her dance recitals and watching her sing at church but the one on ones, watching her face as she describes her wedding to Luke, her prince boyfriend, noticing her expressions and her mannerisms.
She emotes when she talks. It is very endearing.
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