If you drive slower than I...

you're a moron. If you drive faster, you're an idiot.

Road rage is an interesting phenomenon. Most people think road rage is a byproduct of an angry driver. While technically that is true, it is not the whole story. I portend there would be no road rage if people were considerate or thought about others on the road. I happen to have 3 cases in point.

Driving through the toll tag lanes gets a little crowded in the mornings. At the toll booths, the express lanes go from 2 to 3. Everyone is moving along at a 60 mph clip. Not bad. Except for the one bozo who pulls in the 3rd lane to pass everyone. When he gets to the merge he squeezes in where there is no room. The car in the lane into which he is merging must lurch over into the right lane which causes everyone behind the scene to put on their brakes because the even flow of traffic has been disrupted. So because this one guy decides he is more important than the rest of us, we all must risk wrecking our cars for his convenience.

2nd case invloves the same guy. A mile or so up the road there is an exit to get onto another freeway. This usually backs up and there is a line to get on the on ramp. The same bozo drives up as far as he can in the lane next to the line and slows down to squeeze in to the line. The cars behind him are slamming on their brakes and certain cars are doing the swerve into the other lane move to avoid the braking car in front of them. So because this guy is so important, we all must risk wrecking our cars for his convenience.

3rd case probably is this guys brother. The exit I take from the freeway has 4 lanes. Two turning left and two turning right. The left turning lanes were backed up this morning. The right two lanes had a few cars. One guy in the right turn ONLY lane turns left instead. Cuts off a car and backs traffic up even more. What's the problem with taking a right and finding a u-turn?

It's incidents like these that cause road rage. By the time I witnessed these events I was ready to pound someone. If these drivers had been considerate, there would have been no problems.

Some might tell me I just need to watch my temper. Well, I dismiss those people.

Last story.

I am ever vigilant on the road. I can usually spot things that are going to happen before they do. Coming off the freeway the other night, I noticed a little beemer racing along the access road. he was behind me. By the time I got up to the off ramp, he had made it in front of me but just barely. he had to have hit the accelerator to get there because I did. So when I hit the access road, I was right on his tail. I assumed he thought I would slow down like everybody else does. He gave me a gesture in the rear view mirror. I pulled alongside him and rolled down my window to inquire about his issue with me:

Lummox: "You're supposed to go 35 coming off the freeway."
Me: "And what's the speed limit on the access road? 70?"
"There's a sign back there that says 35mph."
"Are you referring to that yellow sign back there."
"Yea"
"Well, there you have it."
"Have what?"
"The sign is yellow."
"So?"
"Ah, 'So?' the mark of a true intellectual? You don't know the difference between a yellow speed limit sign and a white one?"
"No."
"White signs are regulatory. YELLOW signs are advisory. As in a suggestion."

I proceed to roll up my window to "ASSH%!&".

Man that felt good.