Kids are...

the greatest thing in the world...next to shaving.

This weekend was a bitter sweet one for me. I had an Uncle in from Canada whom I hadn't seen in 20 years. So, it was good to visit with him again. He uncannily looks like my older brother Paul. Same face same hair same body type. Truly miraculous as my Uncle would say. Tod and Tori, nephew and neice, were there to discuss their college lives. Fun was had by all.

I was also able to play golf on Saturday morning with my brother and two friends. We had a good time and I even contributed a clutch putt or two.

The bitter part was what was going on at work. You see in a sluggish economy, a pool is not one of the main things people feel the need to purchase. So being in the pool industry, you can see where I am going with this. Luckily all worked out well this morning but the weekend was a bit of a blur.

The only thing that made me feel whole again was the time I spent playing with my kids. Kids don't know budgets and foreclosure and economies. They know webkins and playing Sorry and Hop on Pop. If you didn't know I have what you might call a slight weight problem. I swallow alot of aggression, along with a lot of pizzas. The rotundness of my mid-section makes for one heck of a Hop on Pop session. They know swimming and going to lunch after church. They know night-night time and coming down in the middle of the night because of a bad dream. They know how to love beyond measure.

They are happy I'm me. They are happy Kelly's Kelly. They are happy to be a part of a large loving family. They are happy cartoons are on.

They are happy.

And isn't that what it's all about? No matter what is going on in the world if your kids are happy, that's all that matters.

OK Here's the answer...

to the financial crisis. Ready? Here we go.

They want to give away 700 billion dollars. Written out that's 700,000,000,000. Man that is a lot of zeroes. They want to give this money to bail out the greedy financial institutions who looked to make a quick buck on sub-prime mortgages. So in the governments eyes, you cheat you win. Well that may be all well and good on Wall Street but here on Main Street we live by a different mantra. I'm not sure exactly what that mantra is, maybe you cheat you lose or you cheat you don't get my dough. I don't know. They both sound kind of non-inspiring but you get my drift.

Let's take that 700 billion and distribute it equally among 70 million households. That's $1000 a piece. Spend it how you like. Want to save it, no problem. It will keep the banks solvent. Spend it on a sprinkler system. Great! You're keeping the local sprinkler guy in business. Buy clothes for the kiddos. Taxes will be paid on that. Spend away!

Give the money to those who aren't greedy. Give the money to those who haven't had a foreclosure. Give the money to those who don't live beyond their means. Namely ME!

Some rules for being included in the 70 million. No foreclosures. No bankruptcys. No felonies. No government employees. I mean please. When was the last time you heard of a government employee being fired. It takes a $64 million shortfall in the DISD budget to make them even think about firing people. Nothing's happened yet.

I'm sure Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid would be all over this.

Some ideas are too good...

to go away. My brother Paul had mentioned years ago that he would like to start a commune. I know. I know. The first picture I always get in my head when I hear the word commune is a picture of dirty smelly old hippies wearing tye-died hemp clothing and walking around smoking hasheesh and hugging trees.

As Paul explained it, it would not be your fathers commune.

He had Dr's, lawyers, merchant chiefs all lined up. He had teachers, engineers, carpenters, and farmers ready to go. People of like mind making their way by bartering their services and minding their own beezwax.

The scenes of Waco go racing through my head too. But what would separate us from those loons is that we would not gather because one of us thinks he or she is Jesus Christ or better yet Obama. Nope. We would gather because the ideals that we hold dear are slowly being taken away and it sucks. I presume we would quietly live our lives. Give to Caesar what is Caesar's and raise our families how we see fit.

Honestly, this still is a great idea Paul. Let me know if you're still planning it. Somewhere in the mountains I would think. Colorado, Montana maybe.

I'm getting teary-eyed just thinking about it.

Today is National...

Checkers day and dogs in politics day. I don't know if the Checkers to which they are referring is the actual game or Richard Milhouse Nixon's dog. Since he gave his famous "Checkers Speech", as it came to be known, on this date a scant 56 years ago I presume they mean his dog. It would kind of go along with the theme wouldn't it?

Although dogs in politics is an intriguing topic, Clinton is the obvious choice, I don't want to write about that. I want to write about kids games.

So I will.

What's your favorite? Toss-a-cross? Ants in Your Pants? Don't Break the Ice? Concentration? Kerplunk? I'm talking classic kids games. Older than Pong even....I just typed in classic kids games on Google and in the description I saw things like "Must have Flash Player to watch" and "Classic kids games with a twist." When I was a boy I did not know what a Flash player was. Heck, I don't even think Al Gore knew. The games I played weren't old enough for a "twist"...Hide and Go Seek? Smear the Queer? Ditch em? That was pretty much like Hide and Go Seek but with a much cooler name.

I guess the best game we ever played was Ditch em on bikes. We would ride over to the housing tract across Los Alamitos boulevard and literally ride all day...

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I was never a big fan of Monopoly. All of that raw capitalism in one place. Yeewww! Risk I liked. Australia was the key.

I guess now that I think about it Pong shaped my childhood as much as anything else. How many hours did we spend on the Atari joystick bouncing that little white pixel square back and forth and back and forth and back and forth...I'm just glad that didn't affect me at all.

One great game we played was our not-so-imaginary bar called Ludwigs. We would bring Mom and Dad into the family room which was transformed into a mid-town Manhattan night club complete with music and a bar. We actually made them drinks. Real drinks. Booze and all. I was about 9 or 10 at the time.

I still make one heck of a Shirley Temple.

We grew up in an interesting time. The beginnings of our childhhod games were as they had been for decades. There's not much you can do to improve on Hide and Go Seek or Barrel Full of Monkeys. The same stuff we played were the games our parents played before us. As we grew a little older the Ataris came into play. Definitely not our parents games. We evolved into Asteroids, Missile Commmand, Donkey Kong, Pacman and the like. Which eventually led to Playstations and Xboxs and Wiis. The level of technology advanced so quickly. It's amazing what is out there now. The graphics. The themes.

With all of that technology available I'm glad that Ian's favorite game is still Break the Ice.

I can't wait until the kids are old enough to make drinks. Sing it Frank.

Another weekend come and gone...

Friday afternoon the joy is so great it's palpable. Work productivity slows to a crawl. Moods are a little lighter. Laughter comes a little easier. Ah, yes. The anticipation of the inevitable weekend. All the hopes and dreams of what a two day vacation from work can hold are bundled up right in front of you on Friday afternoon. The package is so big and bright you can almost touch it. The possibilities are endless. The adventures to be had are numerous. There is nothing like the respite from work we receive every week. It is marvelous, glorious and spectacular. It is promising, exhilarating and welcome. All is right with the world.

"So what did you do this weekend?"

"Nothing."

I have had 2127 weekends on this earth. I hope to have at least that many left. I have had some pretty good weekends. The first one that comes to mind is the one where I promised my life to one special girl. I wonder what ever happened to her. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Of course I'm talking about my wedding to my beautiful bride. That was a perfect weekend.

The UCLA weekends I have with my brothers are good weekends. We have been to a number of impressive college football venues, Michigan, Notre Dame, Alabama, Texas, Oklahoma and the Granddaddy of them all the Rose Bowl. The games themselves are just the excuse to get together. I don't remember if it was during the golf or the tailgating or the fellowship at lunch, but somewhere on our last weekend we realized the games were getting in the way of our good time. The fellowship is what we are there for. That's why I am officially proposing this year rather than spending $65 on a game ticket we watch the game at the beautiful log cabin home we have rented in the mountains. I know people will say, "But the whole purpose of the weekends is the game." To that I say, "Nyet." The whole purpose of the weekends is comraderie and fellowship. We can have that in the cold aluminum UW football stadium or in a log cabin nestled in the Cascade mountains among a plethora of pine trees which, while watching the game from our hottub on our big screen TV, will shower us with that one of a kind unmistakable pine tree scent.

But whatever you guys want to do.

I love the weekends. I need to do more to show that but trust me I do. I only have 2000 or so left. I need to start making the most of them. This weekend will be the beginning of...oh yea Uncle Bill is coming in town and there is that thing on TV.

I'll start next weekend.

You can't make this stuff up...

From Newsmax...

Bill Clinton: Palin an 'Effective Candidate'

Thursday, September 18, 2008 9:35 PM

Former President Clinton cast an approving eye at Sarah Palin's political skills Thursday, but wouldn't be drawn on whether his wife Hillary could run for the White House in 2012.

"I think it was exciting to some that she was a woman," said Clinton.

I had a blog all ready to go about...

the art of argument. The refuting of such "debate techniques" as the non-sequitor, the ad hominem and the straw man. I was going to destroy the lefts use of these "techniques" one by one. It was glorious.

But then I realized, I'm tired.

I know McCain is a senile old fool, warmongering, no email sending, cannot remember how many houses he has, out-of-touch, civil rights taking, Bush clone who wants to destroy the earth and everything we hold dear. I know Palin is a ditzy, lying, tanning bed using, selfish, know-nothing hockey mom who has no business being a heart beat away from the presidency

I know Obama is a kind, compassionate, lover of the little guy who can stop the oceans from rising and save us from ourselves. I know Biden is a...is a...what the heck is Biden? We don't hear much about him, huh?

I know all of these things. But I still believe a crusty old Capitalist and a spunky moose hunter are better than a terrorist loving community organizer and a plagiarizer.

Call me crazy.

Interesting side note, whenever I type in a word that is misspelled or the program doesn't understand a red line is put underneath the word to highlight the fact. When I typed in Barack here are the suggestions I was given; bareback, Barabbas and backtrack.

Coincidence? I think not.

Because I have nothing to say...

here's a Lance.

Just a typical day sitting in my suit reading the paper while my friend stands with his back to the window for no apparent reason.

UPDATED

Bless her heart...

Kelly is the back bone of our family. From 6:30 in the morning when she gets up and makes breakfast for the kids and makes the lunches and gets Madison ready to go; all the while I am stumbling around just trying to dress myself, which I don't always do so well, my socks don't match today one black one dark blue, to 10:15 when I go to bed and she stays out in the family room for a little while for a little alone time and all the time in between.

She keeps the calendar, does the laundry, waits for the repair guys, goes shopping and to the bank. She makes dinner. Ah, dinner. Here is why I say bless her heart. Not because she can't cook. She can. And she is very good at it. Very creative. She uses different vegetables and meats and spices and ethnicities of food. She scours magazines and the internet food sites for new and interesting recipes that shake things up a bit.

Never too spicy. Never too exotic. Never too eaten.

The only problem she has with dinner is the rubes she is feeding. We are of the ignorance is bliss crowd when it comes to eating. What we don't know won't hurt us. If we had Mac and Cheese every night, most of the house would be running around yelling: "Mac and Cheese! Yippee!". That was actually a direct quote of mine the other night. Yep. Mac and cheese, spaghetti, sloppy joes, eggs, hot dogs, frozen pizza. That would pretty much cover us until Reagan is ready for college.

We are all fine with that. Truly. Kelly on the other hand, bless her heart, just has that innate, maternal instinct to try something different. As if meat loaf in the shape of cupcakes would expand our dining options by even a few millimeters. What's that old saying, you can put lipstick on a pig or something? For the record, the pig here is the meatloaf and the lipstick is the cupcake disguise.

Anywho, despite what she has made for dinner whether it be carribean shrimp or mac and cheese there is always a vegetable and a fruit for the kids to eat. Kelly is very good about that. If they don't eat their fruits and vegetables, they don't get to read and do their math problems. That always makes them down that asparagus, boy.

Despite our culinary shortcomings, I know she still loves us. And we love her too so all is copacetic.

This weekend...

was like opening your favorite cigar case only to watch them all fall out on the floor...in a public restroom. It started with great anticipation but ended sometime Saturday afternoon around 5:00. I think it was when BYU went up 52-0. Yea...that pretty much did it.

Sunday was a beautiful day outside but the events of the day before made it impossible to enjoy. My Bruins went down and went down hard. Oh I went through the motions on Sunday, went to church, chatted with the local religion and gun clingers, watched some football, went back to church for a birthday social, chatted some more about the 4000 year old dinosaurs...side note Matt Damon is simply put a moron...went home and got the kids to bed. All in all a very subdued weekend. Bummer too because it looked nice out there on Sunday.

So there I sit wallowing in my Bruins bitter defeat flicking the channels. Not feeling much of nothing, when the next scene I saw on TV put all of that out of my mind. Jesus had just fallen from the burden of the cross, and Mary had a flash back of when he was a boy and fell. She rushed to him telling him she was there and it would be OK. After initial hesitation, she did the same that day as well. Holding him and re-assuring him everything was going to be alright. Jesus said to her, See Mother, I make all things new.

I began to cry.

Just as I did in the theater when I saw it the first time. The other scene in that movie that always brings a tear is when the guy being crucified next to Jesus asks Jesus to pray for him. Jesus tells him Amen, I say to you. I promise that you will be with me this day in paradise. Could you imagine? The son of God assuring your place in heaven with his own mouth. Indescribable.

After watching The Passion of the Christ, I was able to put things in a little better perspective. I don't know why that movie happened to be on. Luck. Happenstance. Fate. I don't know. All I know is, I'm human.

For those of you who don't know...

I am fervently pro-life. That is where I give all my charity money. That is where most of my prayers go. To the unborn. Following is a commercial aimed at Catholics but if you consider yourself religious I think it can speak for all.

Powerful.

I wrote a song many years ago about this subject. I wrote it around the time of my brother Paul's wife's mis-carriage. My wife and I have been through that 3 times now. I look back on the words of the song and don't need to change anything.

I read some of the criticisms of Sarah Palin and how she just wanted Trig, her Down's syndrome son, to further her career, and am amazed that these journalist elites just don't get it. They do not understand how someone can have or love an imperfect child. At least imperfection in their eyes. I cringe at the thought of these people being the judge and jury over those of us who cherish and protect life.

Concern of a war or the ecology state
Can bring you peace of mind
But someone please explain to me
Where's the danger in an unborn child

I thank God for my brothers and sister
My parents sense of right and wrong
If there was one less thing in my life
I would not be as strong

Did you ever wonder what the child might have been
Maybe President of this place
Or maybe just a God-fearing human beaing
With your eyes and smiling face.

Happy Birthday, Madison!

Today is Madison's 6th birthday. Seems like only yesterday I was filming her in the warming table. So small. So fragile. So strong. So alert. Eyes wide open and looking right through me. You wonder how you can love someone so much without knowing anything about her. What will her voice sound like? Will she be smart? What will her personality be like? What will she look like without the cone head?

6 years down the road and the questions have been answered. She has a marvelous voice. She even has a little Broadway vibrato that kicks in when she's really getting into it. We watch her in the back of the car sing along to the music. She is good. She seems to be smart enough. She is one heck of a reader. I asked her what 3 + 6 was the other day and she said: "9. That was easy." So at least she can count too. She is a polite, gregarious, funny, normal, healthy 6 year old with a penchant for making friends. Whew! That's a relief!

All you can do is love them and make sure they know they are loved. Funny how everything usually seems to work out after that.

Something else happened today...oh yea 9/11. I am not belittling that event at all. I'm just happy that the first thing I get to think about on this day for the rest of my life is my daughters birthday not the tragic events of THAT day.

I think it is very important to remember THAT day and why we continue to battle the evil men that want us dead. That want Madison dead. I know. Not her per se but the idea of her. But then again they didn't seem to have an issue in killing innocent children on those planes they flew into the WTC.

If you have a few minutes take the time to watch this video. It takes a second to load but well worth the wait. I find it quite powerful. It will help to remind you not to forget.

It's almost here...

Autumn or Fall if you prefer.

This is without question the greatest time of the year. College Football. Pro Football. Jerseys. Sweatshirts. Colder air eventually turning to cold air. Halloween. Thanksgiving. Which inevitably leads to the highlight of any year, Christmas. My eyes are watering just thinking about it. I may be getting a little ahead of myself but what the heck...IT'S ALMOST FALL!!!!

I love the changing of this season. I love having fires in the fireplace or a good wood fire outside in the firepit or as the kids like to call it the S'more maker. There is nothing better on a cool autumn night than having a stogie and a drink out by the fire. Heaven. I'm in Heaven.

You see, I love the cold. Maybe because I'm so freakin hot all the time.I don't know. I just love it. One of my dreams is to live in New England from early December to early January and experience a White Christmas. I already have the house picked out...

I imagine that place covered with snow, going out in the woods with an axe and chopping down our own live Christmas tree and after the trip to the hospital putting it up and enjoying its beauty. Eyes again watering. I'm such a woman. But who cares..IT'S ALMOST FALL!!!!

I can't wait to go trick or treating with Reagan for the first time. I can't wait to see what princess Madison will be this year. I can't wait to see what UCLA jersey Ian will wear. I can't wait to see Kelly in the French maid outfit I bought her! Just kidding. We only have one UCLA jersey for Ian.

I love getting together with family at Thanksgiving. This time of year is just special. Putting up the decorations on the Friday after Thanksgiving. It's all good.

Did I mention...IT'S ALMOST FALL!!!!!

UPDATED: Lance Lawson knows geography...

The man is a walking encyclopedia...

Ah, that feels better...

Fixed that grammar for you, Obama.

Good weekend...

Kelly was gone on Friday night and Saturday. That's not why the weekend was good. It's just that she was gone. The stuff that came later was good. Not that time with my kids isn't good...I'll just get on with it. She went to Marshall TX. Home of the East Texas Baptist University fighting...Baptists...I don't know what they're mascot is. Her dad is the director of choral activities there and she was a clinician at an all-state clinic he has. That left me alone with the kids. I always feel a little nervous in these situations. I don't know why. I have taken care of the kids by myself a million times. Never an issue. It's just me. I had to pick up my suit from the cleaners at 4:00 on Saturday and I planned it like I was going on maneuvers in the Fallujah province:

Rendezvous will be at 3:57. We will rally in the black troop carrier (Dodge mini-van). We will embark at 3:58 which will make arrival at our destination 4:02. Upon visual confirmation of our oriental counterpart, I will leave the carrier to retrieve our booty. If the police arrive, Madison is to drive the carrier to rendezvous Delta while Ian and Chompy push the pedals. After reteieval of the booty, I will re-enter the carrier. We will then head to point Mickey D for chocolate chip cookies and milk. A reward for a job well done. Godspeed.

Madision had dance class on Saturday. She just learned some ballet but had a good time nonetheless. She has the awsomest pair of tap shoes ever. They are just cool. I have always wanted to learn how to tap. We need to learn this routine...

Saturday night we went to a wedding of a fraternity brother of mine. The reception was amazing. Fort Worth club. Open bar. Nuff said. Saw many brothers I had not seen in a while. It is always great to see those guys. Even though some of them you haven't seen for 15 years, you can fall back into the same old routine. The conversations aren't old but the comfort is there.

It's amazing where the time goes. It does only seem like yesterday we were getting ready to go out and party at 10:30 pm. Now 10:30 rolled around and we marvelled at how late it was and we all headed home to pay the sitter. Kelly and I had a good time. Everyone had an adult night out. Something we all need to keep the sanity.

Sunday was truly a day of rest. For me at least. It started with a solo at church. A good spiritual that I gave my best baritone...and I'm a tenor for criminey sakes. It went well, thankfully. Next, sitting in my chair for about...oh...8 hours. Good day.The Cowboys won and looked good doing so. Football is back. Good for me.

Latest Palin rumor: Trig could not be her husbands baby because he was at the north slope at the possible time of conception.

And this lovely post from our beloved liberals. They are horrible horrible people.

I think it's important...

to show people what mentality the right is up against.

Kelly has been getting into this campaign and it is very exciting for me. It is nice that she is getting fired up about this election because it gives us one more thing to talk about. I have been feeding her lines about the left for years and her reaction was always the same; pretty much not interested. Lately though she has been following along. The other day I told her about an article written by Alan Colmes that really got her blood boiling. He questioned whether or not Palin had taken proper pre-natal care and how that affected her baby? You know, the one with Downs syndrome? The one with a chromosomal abnormality that any amount of pre-natal care would not have prevented. Yea. That one.

You could see in her eyes she realized these people just don't get it.

I posted this entry to show you a reply to an article written by Mark Steyn, an outsatnding conservative writer. I have no idea what the article was about but here is the reply he received form an, no doubt, impeccably sensitive progressive new male: (Sorry for the language but it's his not mine)

This abortion prohibitionist hag won’t cut it among women with brains.And BTW she is a good example of reproduction run amok. 5 kids; 1 retard. I wonder if the bitch ever heard of getting spayed.

There you go.

Remind me again, I forget...

when was the last time a Democratic nomination speech was disrupted by Republicans?

Overview of the Republican convention:

Palin was phenomenal. McCain not so much. He did what he had to do. He is not a big hall speaker. He is much more comfortable in the "town hall" format. I didn't think McCain had a chance 3 months ago. I think now it is anybodys game. Works for me.

Liberals are just ugly mean-spirited people. As proven by the shenanigans last night. How did they get in there? Who gave them credentials to get into the building. As I told Kelly, I would torture the crap out of those two bozos until I found out how they got in there. Then I would expose the media because I'm sure someone at one of the news agencies gave them credentials.

It's the little things...

Little things happen everyday that make you thank God you're alive.

Whenever Madison and I are swimming we love to play the people game. You start by saying: "This person..." and give a clue so the other person can answer. e.g. This person tried to hurt the Beast? The answer is Gaston of course. Mean rotten ole Gaston. He probably smells like Ian's diapers. She loves that. I am comedy. She is growing up so fast. I hope it's the times in the pool playing the people game that she remembers. I know I will.

Ian is not quite that cerebral. He is more of a demonstrative personality. He loves to sit in my chair and say, "My chair!". To which I respond, "No, that's my chair!" He'll then proceed to laugh so hard he rolls off the chair. Again, pure comedic gold. He loves to "hop on pop". He'll come running from one side and jump on my belly and take a header onto the other side, laughing the whole time. He could literally do this for hours.

This morning I was at the bathroom sink, he came bounding around the corner fork in hand, walked up and gave me a big hug on the leg. He then looked at me and said:

"Daddy, me faht faffle for brehfist."

"You have waffles for breakfast?"

"Yes."

"That's great. Are they yummy?"

"Yes"

pause 2 seconds

Then raising his hand he said:

"Dis my fork."

On that, he ran back to his faffles.

Chompy and I have a special relationship. As long as I keep singing "Lights" by Journey to her I'm good to go. I have been singing that song to her her whole life but I didn't realize that she understood that song until a few days ago. Last week I started up, "When the lights go down in the city..." she turned to look at me and started clapping her hands together. She knew what she was doing. Then in the car the other day, that song came on the radio. I saw her hands go up and start clapping. She turned her head to look at me and smiled. Those are the moments for which you live.

Whether it's the people game or faffles for breakfast or making your daughter happy by singing, I am truly blessed.