I once put that on a message machine of mine. And if I remember correctly, I followed that with about a minute of freelance rapping.
Just want to let everyone know I'm alive and well after the holiday with one left to go.
I will be updating soon.
This was as much a part of the holidays as Charlie Brown.
Kids skating and singing; Linus and Charlie contemplating Christmas; Charlie depressed; kids doing the whip; Snoopy flinging CB into the tree; CB not getting any Christmas cards; CB being sarcastic; CB making the rounds (Pig Pen and Snoopy); kids eating snowflakes if they're ripe enough; kids slinging snowballs with Linus' Davey-esque slingshot action the best; Lucy psychoanalyzing CB after his payment of cold hard cash; diagnosis: pantaphobia; "That's it!"; CB appointed director of the Christmas play; real estate mentioned as a good gift; Snoopy decorating his house for a lights and display contest to win money, money, money; Sally dictating her wants to big brother CB; all she wants is what's coming to her...all she wants is her fair share; first taste of Guaraldi's genius in Linus and Lucy; kid dancing, head side to side while pointing his fingers out form his side; introduction of CB as director; Snoopy boos; CB directs; more Vince and dancing; scripts handed out; Pig Pen the innkeeper, go figure; Shermy is a shepherd every Christmas; Snoopy is a sheep, cow and yes he's even a good penguin; Lucy diatribes; Snoopy mimics and kisses; Snoopy "Bleeeah"'s; Linus is given 5 good reasons to memorize the script; he's just an innocent shepherd; Schroeder jams to Vince again; too much dust for the curls; Sally thinks Linus is the cutest thing; lunch break; Christmas queen insults; Vince one more time; Charlie throws the director megaphone with a horn toot sound effect; CB goes to get a Christmas tree, a big shiny one; CB and Linus get a scrawny but real tree; Lucy disses Beethoven; Snoopy dances on piano then gets embarrassed when music stops; Jingle Bells; CB and Linus bring in the tree; kids laugh at poor old CB; CB depressed again;
"Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about"
"Sure Charlie Brown. I can tell you what Christmas is all about. Lights, please.
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."
"That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown."
It starts out with a baby being left at the Burgermeisters residence. The No. 1 lawkeeper, Grimsly, picked him up and showed him to the BMMB who promptly sent him to the orphanage.
During delivery of the boy the wind picked him up and flew him away into the woods. The animals knew the baby needed a home so they took him to the famous toy making Kringles. I am amazed at how bright and altruistic animals are in these stories. There he was loved by the 5 Kringle brothers and their mother? or sister? I never knew what her relationship was to them. They sang about being the first toy makers to the king and Kris, as they named him, was a man now and took the toys to Sombertown.
On his way he met Topper, a penguin. Who was never in any of the stories I heard about Santa Claus and I consider myself somewhat of an expert. On their way to Sombertown, they run into The Winter Warlock (TWW) who very menacingly vows to get them for crossing his mountain but after the commercial break says eh maybe next time.
Well, little did Kris know that the BMMB has just declared toys to be illegal and immoral since he had a mishap with a toy duck on the stairs which caused him to break his funny bone. He was derided for his choice of attire a time or two but he gave the kids the toys anyway, but only after a song during which a scolding takes place, "I'm telling you why." Geez, Santa, lighten up.
"If you sit on my lap today, a kiss a toy is the price you'll pay. If you sit on my left knee, don't be stingy be prepared to pay." Great song. Great lyrics.
He then meets Miss Jessica, the future Mrs Claus and woos her with a doll.
The BMMB sees all the children playing with toys and is OK with it until the realizes they aren't supposed to be. He orders the children arrested. In walks Kris, to save the kids and take the blame. He also gives the BMMB a gift. "A yoyo!" The BMMB is told by the #1 lawkeeper he is breaking his own law and he realizes he's been bamboozled. Kris escapes on his running, jumping, and climbing abilities.
Not all is hunky dory yet. Back in the woods on the way back to the Kringle household, he gets captured by Willy Willow and Peter Pine two of TWW's henchmen. But their bark is worse than their bite and when Kris offers Winter a gift, with no tricks attached, Winter orders the trees to let Kris go and they oblige. Kris gives TWW a train and his icy exterior melts to show a warm gentle man of ages who just wants to be loved. He puts one foot in front of the other and their friendship is born. TWW even shows Kris a trick or two. But not only that the Kringles move to TWW mountain to be closer to Sombertown which makes Winter happy because now he;s not alone.
Kris makes his way back to Sombertown a few times thwarting BMMB's efforts to stop the kids from getting toys every time. First BMMB locks the doors; Kris goes down the chimney. Then he searches the houses for toys, they are hidden in the stockings. Finally though, BMMB stakes out a house and Kris is caught.
Not only is he caught but all of the Kringles as well.
Miss Jessica takes it upon herself to free the Kringles. She goes to TWW's house and learns he has a few magic beans left that make reindeer fly. They feed the reindeer, and fly in to save the Kringles. TWW is heard to say, "I'm not such a loser after all." No TWW, you are anything but a loser my wintry friend.
Seeing as the Kringle name is now dangerous he reverts back to the name he had when the Kringles found him, Claus. He marries Miss Jessica and TWW even lights a tree with his last magic. The first Christmas tree.
As time goes by, the BMMB's die out and the people realize their laws are dumb. Kris decides because of all the toy requests to limit his trip to once a year; the night of profound love. Christmas Eve.
The music and the supporting characters make this my No. 2.
TWW saying, "...a chance to be reborn" and "I'm not such a loser after all." is worth the price of admission.
Now that's one heck of a day.
I have a strange recollection of many parts of this show. The way the little kid says "Oatmeal!" when they ask what they want to name Frosty. The way one of the kids says "Uh huh!" when asked if they saw Frosty come to life. The over-produced sound effects of the train depot ticket guy when he wakes up and messes up the tickets and when he finds out they don't have any money for a ticket to the North Pole. (The same over-production is used when Hinkle jumps from the train down the mountain. The effects continue after he is done falling.) The way Hinkle says "Messy, messy, messy." And the best line of all...
"He was the fastest belly-whopper in the world."
I almost didn't put this in the top 5 because of the 2 horrendous sequels; "Frosty Returns" with Jonathon Winters narrating and John Goodman as Frosty. Goodman sings through his nose the whole show as Bill Murray's brother, the one with the very scratchy voice tries to peddle his snow-be-gone product to the town because they hate the snow. It turns into a big quagmire which eventually leads to everyone hating the multi-conglomerate which is as it should be. (rolling eyes) Also, "The Legend of Frosty The Snowman" with, brace yourselves, Burt Reynolds narrating. It is as terribe as you are imagining. Words cannot describe the agony of this "special". I won't try.
I do love the original Frosty though. And it is always a perrenial favorite in this most wonderful time of the year.
This is what I spend the year wating for. It's 35 degrees outside. The wind chill makes it fell like the 20's. As I come through the door, I am greeted by my children yelling "Daddy!" with some sort of Christmas outfit on. The Christmas tree lights are in full force lighting up the room. Not to be outdone, the roaring fire easily makes the remaing dark succumb to the light of the flames.
I slip into my warm wool socks, flannel lounge around pants and a long sleeve t-shirt. I will take my place by the fire for a viewing of "It's a Wonderful Life." I have seen it 3 times this year but the kids have been spared. Tonight, they get baptized.
It's just different this time of year. No matter what is going on in the real world, this is my oasis. Filled with joy, song, laughter and love.
Christmas truly is the most wonderful time of the year.
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the rum. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
The first story is about a toy. The second story is possibly the greatest example of irony ever.
Bratz dolls, this is the doll who's only purpose as far as I can tell is to show little girls how to dress like hookers, are no more. Madison liked these dolls but knew I did not so never asked for one. Now, we won't have to worry about it.
This next story is...well I don't know how to describe it. Just look.
Gift certificates to an abortion clinic to give as gifts to honor the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
You can't make this stuff up.
The Little Drummer Boy - Johnny Mathis
Push play on the You Tube video before reading.
When I was a boy I would listen to this song over and over and over. One time, I had my sister Katy lift up the needle from the record after each line so I could write down what was sung. I memorized the song this way. That Baby Jesu line was a real head scratcher.
I know this is a very repetitive song. Some would even call it mundane. Some would, not me. I don't know why this song has always meant something to me. I love it for it's ultimate "it's not the size of the gift that matters it's the thought that counts" attitude. Here was a little boy who had nothing to give except the gift of music. And with that, he made the Christ-child smile; at least that's what the song says. I dare to think every time I attempt to give the gift of music somewhere the Christ-child is smiling.
Youtube is the greatest thing ever. I found "The Littlest Christmas Tree" and now Johnny Mathis singing "The Little Drummer Boy". I have the version with Bing Crosby and David Bowie all ready to go on the music player, which isn't a bad version at all, but I needed to hear Johnny.
The next song on my list:
Skating - The Vince Guaraldi Trio
After listening to Johnny, hit the play button on the music player. It's the triangle pointing right.
Of course "Linus and Lucy" is the big song from "A Charlie Brown Christmas Special" but I like this tune as much if not more. It's like "Whip It" by Devo or "Shout" from Tears for Fears. Everybody knows those songs. The people who follow Devo or Tears for Fears probably never listen to those songs because they are overplayed. And we can't understand why people can't just see the greatness that is Devo or Tears for Fears and listen to some of their other masterpieces.
Enter "Skating" by The Vince Guaraldi trio.
Listen to the melody. Listen to the piano. It sounds like snow falling. Then the piano interlude where the notes quickly ascend in three separate allegretto entities. Close your eyes. You can actually see someone with their hands clasped behind their back skating leisurely on a frozen pond somewhere...where the ponds freeze. I prefer to think of it as Minnesota, from where Charles Schultz hails, or New England since to me that is the epitome of Christmas.
You can't help but lose yourself in the meditative freedom expressed in this arrangement, like the Peanuts characters in the movie, gliding so freely, smoothly and gracefully on the frozen pond in the pristine greyness of winter. Boy, that sounded pretentious. I'm keeping it anyway.
This is one Christmas Album I listen to all year. It's simply good jazz music.
The Littlest Christmas Tree - Red Skelton
This is not really a song but a spoken tale. Listening to this with my brothers and sister is one of my fondest Christmas memories. Surprise, surprise we can all still quote many lines form this "song". I guess the only reason Iconsider it a song is because it was on an LP, 33 1/3. Those were the days.
"The time...Christmas Eve. The place...this room."
It is a story about a little tree in some family's home who is wondering about his purpose for being there. In the forest, the birds would build homes in his branches and the wind would blow making music along with the chirping birds. They were the sounds of the earth. A symphony unwritten.
Santa comes and explains to him he is making music now with the laughter of the children. Little did we know when we listened to this as children there was quite an anti-communist propaganda agenda going on here. I have to say it worked. The reindeer being knocked out cold, "No. Yes.". No Christmas trees to help light Santa's way. The swelling music.
"Daddy, what's a ration card?"
It's all good.
Now, some may have a tendency in this PC age to dismiss this song. Not me. I say good for Red. In the early 50's when this story was told, there was no greater threat to the American way of life than communism. I like to think Ronald Reagan and this song were ultimately responsible for the collapse of the Iron Curtain.
The end of this story still makes me mist up. With the tree saying Merry Christmas while Santa fly's away. The music swells to it's climax while the tree seems to be fading into the background. Well done production for 1951.
I love this story.
Without further ado...The Littlest Christmas tree.
Friday we spent the day putting up the tree and watching Christmas movies. We watched, "The Grinch", "A Charlie Brown Christmas", "Frosty", "The Polar Express", "Miracle on 34th Street", "White Christmas" and "Fred Clause". Normally we watch "It's a Wonderful Life" to cap the day but I knew the kids would be bored to tears after watching "The Polar Express". Earlier in the day when we told Madison we would be watching "White Christmas", she said, "It's not all black and white is it? It has color, right?" So I knew my favorite holiday movie would have to wait. Unfortunately, there was a UCLA debacle game on so I watched that instead. Big mistake.
Saturday we had to shift it back into Thanksgiving mode for my family's dinner. Good times had by all. It was nice and chilly. Just the way I like it. When we got home we turned on the Christmas tree lights, lit up a fire and played with the train. We went to New Mexico and Arizona to deliver presents.
This led me to an idea. Ever since I was a kid, I had a hard time believing Santa could carry a bag big enough to hold all of the presents he had to deliver. What if he had a train yard at the North Pole that would dispatch trains filled with presents to points all over the globe? They would go to their designated stops and Santa could just stop by the depot and fill up the sack again and keep going. He could have elves on each train that loaded the sack in no time and he'd be back on his way. I think this is a very plausible idea. One I will ask him about the next time I see him. Besides, there is a movie in there somewhere.
Last night was the Hanging of the Green service at church. As you know I am not a Sunday night guy but at Christmas it's different. Carols are sung, soloists perform and the garland and wreaths that adorn our stage are hung, hence the name. It is always a nice way to start the season. Singing the carols are the best. That let's you know there is no turning back.
Sam, our preacher, yesterday said Christmas is like an old shoe or an old shirt; it's comfortable. It fits. It's easy to get into. Then he went on to say some other stuff about Jesus and the living God or some such but I wasn't really listening I was thinking about how good that comfortable shirt feels.
All in all it was a great kick-off weekend to the Christmas season. Except for UCLA looking like Charlie Brown trying to kick a field goal with Lucy holding the ball.
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