Saturday, December 13, 2008

No. 3 Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer...

This humorous romp finds Sam the snowman,Burl Ives, regaling us with the tale of how Rudolph's nose became the savior of Christmas. Or how I like to say pulled that jerk Santa Claus' butt out of the fire.

It starts out showing the true humanity of...um...deer, or should I say male deer and man. Rudolphs father is weary of his bloomin blinkin beacon and tries to cover it up. When Santa finds out about his nose he tells Donner he should ashamed of himself. If I was Donner, I would have hooved Santa in the cubes. But alas, they just cover up his nose and send him off to take-off practice.

Where Rudolph meets Fireball. They yuk it up a while until Clarice the love interest makes eyes at Rudolph. He goes to talk to her and asks if he can walk her home. She replies yes and tells him she thinks he's cute. On that news, he goes soaring through the air flying like an eagle right to the feet of Comet the take-off coach. He does another go round and everyone is impressed. While Fireball and Rudolph playhouse, Rudolph's fake nose comes off. As males tend to do, they all are frightened and beg him to go away. On Comet's arrival to the scene, he lets out one of the most comedic "Yeeeeeaaaaee"'s ever heard while his eyes simultaneously roll around in their sockets. That's comedy.

Clarice likes him better this way and decides to walk home with him anyway. Her father had other plans. So, Rudolph ends up alone.

Meanwhile Hermie the elf decides he doesn't want to be an elf but a dentist. Another oppressive male figure the head elf, tells Hermie they don't need any chewing dolls and he must go learn to chuckle warmly at elf-practice. Hermie decides to go it alone instead and leaves.

Rudolph and Hermie hook up under a snow bank and decide to be independent together and prove they are not nitwits.

Here the one and only male figure in the show with any sense about him is introduced, Yukon Cornelius. He is a fun-lovin prospector in search of Gold. He takes the two misfits under his wing and protects them form the Abominable Snow-Monster. He knows that Bumbles can't swim so he breaks off an iceberg and they float off.

Straight to the Island of Misfit Toys. One thing that's always bothered me about this island; Charlie in the box has a wrong name, the cowboy rides an ostrich, the gun shoots grape jelly, the train has square wheels on its caboose. What exactly is wrong with the doll?

The three find out they are even misfits among misfits and decide to head out after a good nights sleep. Luckily, Yukon and Hermie fall asleep faster than any soul on the face of the earth so Rudolph can begin his journey alone. You see, he feels he is endangering their lives with his nose so he leaves his friends so they'll be safe.

Rudolph grows up. Goes home. Gets ragged on again by Fireball. I mean, grow up dude. He is probably that jock in high school who at the 20 year reunion is fat, bald and divorced and relives the glory days everyday. Anywho, Rudolph finds out Clarice his mother and father have gone to look for him. He of course sets out to find them.

Just then the big storm hit. But Rudolph was determined. He found his family in the Bumbles cave about to be dinner. He bonked the Bumble in the tukus and got a rock across the noggin. Youch! It looked like curtains for our hero...

Not so fast. Yukon and Hermie found the cave and lured the Bumble out with the most pathetic pig noise I've ever heard. But it worked so what do I know. A boulder dropped on his head rendered the Bumble unconscious in perfect state to pull all his teeth. Yukon knew Bumbles were nothin without their choppers and proceeded to push the Bumble over the cliff. Along with himself and his dog-sled team. This was quite a dramatic turn of events for a children's special. I was quite upset the first time I saw this.

Rudolph ET AL go home and Santa, still being a jerk, finds a way to exploit Rudolph for his nose. Just then, a knock on the door. It's a night not fit for man nor beast. Yukon and the reformed Bumble come through the door and become the greatest star placing team in the North Pole. You see Bumbles bounce as well.

Sam assures us all is well and Rudolph saved Christmas. As if there was any doubt.

The reaon this was #3 was the music. Not as good as 1 and 2. That's what it boiled down to for me, the music. "Silver and Gold" is a decent song. "Why am I such a Misfit' is not bad either. But the other songs, meh.

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