The observations one makes at an airport go from the sublime to the ridiculous. Here are examples of the types of people I observed while sitting in the Chicago O'Hare airport for about 1 hour and my flight home.
The Jerk - An elderly lady made her way over to where I was sitting. I was on the end of a four seat row with the other 3 seats empty. She was going to sit down on a row of seats perpendicular to me but as she got there realized there was something underneath the seat and started to walk over to my row. A guy in his early 50's saw her and sped up to get past her and sit down in the chair. I couldn't believe my eyes. I stood up and said she could have my seat. The whole time just staring at him. He never looked at me but I could tell by the look on his face he knew that I knew he rushed past her just to get the seat.
The oblivious guy - This is the guy who tries to board while first class is boarding because he doesn't bother to listen to the rules and follow them. Well, on the flight a redneck sits in the seat in front of me. This guy had the mullet, the camouflage hat, the skoal can. The whole 9 yards. The first thing he does is put his headphones on and start listening to his music. The first time to check everyone the flight attendant told him to turn it off. The second time down she told him he had to fasten his seat belt. He looked around for it like it was a new concept. Right after that he leans his seat back while we are taxiing to take off. I had to get the FA's attention to have him put his seat back up. I can't stand the people that put that thing down the second the wheels leave the earth so this guy was getting on my last nerve. Now I thought maybe this was his first time flying. Well form his outfit and hairstyle I knew this guy wasn't from Chicago. He had to have gotten there somehow. Maybe he drove.
The queen - For those of you who watch "The Office", Kelly the Indian princess on that show sat next to me on the flight. This girl looked acted and talked exactly like the Kelly character. She was very much into her looks and the material things in her life.
The loud guy who thinks he's being cool but just looks like a boob - The guy behind me broke his ankle while snowboarding and he just had it fused and now he can't do all the other things he was into like skydiving and kickboxing and all the martial arts and now he'll have to take up scuba diving which he is looking forward to until he is attacked by the first great white shark in a lake, haha, and he is newly divorced (surprise surprise) so his 11 year old daughter loves to come to his apartment because it is like her own playhouse because you see his 4000 square foot house on 2 acres is where she lives with her mother and he wonders if his bags are in Dallas yet because he was on the 2:30 flight and because it's Dallas the bags may still be late and he lives in Dallas and avoids DFW as much as he can , haha.
This was all before takeoff.
1 comment:
Oh my gosh John....you wear me out just reading!!
Do you analyze EVERYTHING?? I have no idea how you remember every bit of it!
Funny!
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