Monkey Business...

With an ongoing war in Iraq, $4 a gallon gasoline, Midwest floods, a credit crunch and creeping inflation, rest assured, our congressmen have their eyes on the ball. By a vote of 302-96 last week, the House of Representatives passed the Captive Primate Safety Act, a bold step on the road to outlawing pet monkeys.


Animal rights aside, one thing is clear: This is not the business of the federal government. In criminalizing pet ownership, the nanny state is going too far, and few can argue against the idea that making monkey trafficking a federal crime borders on the absurd. A Heritage Foundation report released last week estimates there are at least 4,450 federal crimes on the books. As John Baker, a Louisiana State University law professor writes, "The federal government is supposedly a government of limited powers and, therefore, limited jurisdiction. Each new crime expands the jurisdiction of federal law enforcement."

Did Congress step in because of an absence of pre-existing monkey regulations? No. The monkey industry does not operate in a vacuum; states have various restrictions on primate ownership, varying from licensing to breeding restrictions to total bans. If monkey-owning is your hot-button issue, as opposed to, say, taxes or abortion, you are free to move to a more monkey-permissive, or anti-monkey, state.

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(begin sarcasm)
While watching the news the other night I was struck by the images of all the looting going on during the midwestern floods. What is it about a natural disaster that brings out the worst in people? Why do they feel they are entitled to other peoples property simply because they have had some hardship enter their lives. Where are the pictures of people rolling up their shirtsleeves and making sandbags to thwart the swollen river?

I am sick of all the midwesterners blaming the federal government for their plight as well. Rain comes. Rivers crest. Floods happen. I wish those midwesterners would take some responsibilty themselves and stop blaming others.

At least we will be able to see another good benefits concert for the flood victims of the midwest. I'm sure Kanye West and Fitty Cent are lining up to help their fellow Americans. Because as you know, George Bush does not like midwesterners.
(end sarcasm)